Winter (A Bucky Barnes recovery story)

7. Scars and Shopping

They finish breakfast and Bucky continues to refuse the food. Steve finally gives up and takes the plate into the kitchen.

"We should get you some clothes James." Natasha says, realizing he had been wearing the same clothes all week. "Do you not have any?"

He shakes his head. Steve sits down and says "I'll lend you some of mine for today. Then we can all go to the mall together." Bucky nods quietly, he really did need some more clothes. He follows Steve into the bedroom. Steve gives him the same clothes as last time. "Don't worry they're washed." Steve says attempting to be funny.

Bucky doesn't reply and silently takes off his shirt. He hears a gasp behind him and realizes Steve hadn't left. "Buck. What happened to your back."

Bucky quickly pulls on his shirt. "It's nothing."

"Bucky, come on let's show Natasha."

"It's nothing." He whispers, turning to face Steve.

"Bucky it's not nothing now come on." He grabs Bucky's wrist and Bucky rips his hand away from Steve's grasp. "Bucky why won't you let us help you?"

Bucky falls silent and turns away. "Please Bucky. We want to help you. But we can't help you if you won't open up. I thought you couldn't scar, like me." Steve says softly.

"My punishments did that." Bucky mutters quietly, "When I failed or messed up they would punish me. The... the wounds would heal but they just kept at it. Repeatedly reopening the wounds and leaving the scars." he manages to choke out the words. He turns to look at Steve who looks lost.

"Oh Bucky." He whispers, pulling Bucky into a hug. Bucky tenses then pulls away. Steve looks at him quietly. "Are you planning on telling Natasha?"

"No. Please don't tell her." He murmurs eyes downcast. Steve nods.

"Are you guys okay?" Natasha asks walking in, a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah. We uhm just got talking." Steve replies, Bucky nods silently not meeting either gaze trained on him. "We'll let you finish changing."

Bucky nods, and makes sure they leave before he changes his pants. He walks out a couple minutes later wearing the borrowed clothes, looking basically the same as last time except for the fresh cuts and bruises.

"Ready?" Natasha asks masking her concern with excitement. Bucky nods stiffly. "Then let's go." They get into the taxi and reach the mall.

Natasha pulls Bucky out of the taxi and Steve follows behind. "Are you gonna stay with us or do your own thing?" she asks Steve.

"I'll stay with you guys." He replies, Natasha nods and pulls them towards a clothing department store. She leads him to the pants, she pulls several pairs of jeans off the shelves and passes them to Bucky. "Dressing rooms are that way." She says pointing, he nods and walks over there.

He enters one of the rooms and Natasha browses for shirts she picks out several then goes and passes them to Bucky. After about an hour in that particular store they leave with their purchases. They go to a small restaurant and have lunch.

"So? Anything else you guys want to do?" Natasha asks, Steve shakes his head and Bucky shakes his head then yawns. "Your both boring." She says laughing.

"Yes we are." Bucky says smiling, Steve watches in amazement as Bucky smiles, this is the first time he's smiled since before... he'd fallen off the train.

They finish eating and Steve pays. They hail a taxi and by the time they get to the apartment Bucky is half asleep on Natasha's shoulder and she's poking Steve to keep him awake.

The taxi pulls up on the curb and Natasha shakes Bucky awake and herds him out of the taxi and across the street to his apartment. Steve says goodnight to them and walks to his own apartment, he flops onto his couch and falls asleep.

Natasha gets to Bucky's door and pokes him asking for his key. He mumbles something tiredly and she sighs knowing he wouldn't be of any help. She sits him on the floor so he is leaning against the wall, she pulls out her tools and starts to pick his lock.

She gets it open then prods Bucky, helping him up. She swings the door open and leads him to the bedroom. He flops onto the bed and mutters something incoherent before falling asleep completely and beginning to snore softly.

Natasha walks into the other room smiling, she curls up on his couch and falls asleep.