Winter (A Bucky Barnes recovery story)

16. Bruce and Tony

Bucky opened his eyes slowly, looking around but not moving. His back hurt like someone had driven a blade into it. He pushes himself up off his stomach and stifles a cry of pain.

"Don't sit up, lay back down." A voice instructs placing a hand on his shoulder. He recoils instantly images of Hydra filling his mind. He becomes dizzy and his vision blurs.

"Lay down Buck. Its okay, they're friends." Steve says, moving in front of him. Bucky nods slowly, becoming lightheaded he lies back down and stares at Steve.

"Bucky this is Bruce and Tony." he says pointing to the two men that now stood next to him. Bucky stares at them silently, feeling weak and vulnerable.

"I fell. What... What happened after that?" Bucky says, he remembered staring at the sky then darkness.

"Well we were chasing after you then I saw you fall. I found you in the alley and you weren't moving, so we brought you here. I knew that you wouldn't want to go back to the hospital and that if we took you there you'd pull some stupid stunt and hurt yourself more." Steve explains.

"Hurt myself more? How am I hurt?" Bucky asks, watching as Bruce disappeared behind him.

"Well there was a large fragment of metal in your back, your feet were battered pretty bad and you lost a large amount of blood." Bruce explains from behind him. Bucky attempts to turn around and look at him but is rewarded with a searing pain. This time he can't help the cry that escapes his lips.

"How much does it hurt?" Bruce asks, watching as the blood began to stain the bandages.

"Why?" Bucky asks, not ready to admit he was in pain.

"So I can decide whether to give you morphine or not." He replies, pulling out the bandages and the antiseptic.

"It hurts a lot." Bucky says quietly. Bruce nods and pulls out a small bottle of morphine and a syringe. He pulls the syringe out of the sterile package, and pushes it through the lid of the morphine. He draws the right dosage and moves in front of Bucky. He lifts Bucky's human arm, being mindful of the large bruise there, and injects the morphine. Bucky sighs and relaxes, Bruce sets his arm down gently and moves around to stop the bleeding and change the bandages.

"How'd you get that bruise?" Tony asks, gesturing to the large, awfully discolored bruise.

"I gripped it to hard." Bucky replies. Bruce rubs antiseptic gently on the wound and Bucky hisses through grit teeth in pain.

"Looks like you tried to break your arm." Tony says, earning himself a furious glare from Steve.

"Maybe, I really didn't know what I was doing." He replies, staring at the ground.

Bruce applies pressure until the bleeding stops and then he puts the new bandages on. Natasha walks in, her hair is wet and Bucky guesses she was taking a shower.

"Morning." She says, sitting down next to Steve.

Bruce nods in acknowledgement, and Steve says "Good morning." Softly.

"I didn't have a chance to ask you, how's Barton?" Tony asks, moving behind a large counter.

"He's good. Been a bit bored." She replies, taking a sip from the mug in her hands.

"Well that's good to hear." Tony says. "J.A.R.V.I.S. do a scan on our buddy over there, make sure he didn't do any permanent damage."

"Yes sir." J.A.R.V.I.S. replies and scans Bucky, Tony pulls up the scans. Bruce walks over and they view the scans together.

"Well you didn't do any permanent damage. The wound is really deep so you'll be bedridden for a while, but otherwise your good."

Bucky huffs in frustration, he didn't like the thought of staying in one spot for to long it makes you vulnerable, he thinks to himself. Bucky closes his eyes and then opens them after taking a deep breath.

Bruce pulls up the scan and moves it so it focuses on Bucky's right arm, he sighs after seeing it. "You did actually fracture your arm though. It won't require surgery but it will have to be taken care of."

Steve buries his face in his hands and Nat can't help but gasp, both of them had watched him clutch his arm tightly, both of them praying he hadn't broken it, only to find out he had.

Bucky watches Steve and Nat and then looks away, he was a burden. As soon as he could, he would leave. They didn't deserve this, they shouldn't have to deal with me, I'm broken and I can't be fixed.

Bruce walks over and assess Bucky's arm, "Well I'll go get you a sling and we'll move you onto your back." Bruce says, walking towards the elevator.

"I'm going to my lab." Tony states, following Bruce to the elevator. Once they disappear there is only silence.

"How do you feel?" Natasha asks softly, looking at him. He was pale which only made the shadows under his eyes look darker, and he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Fine." He mumbles, and watches the way Steve taps his foot. The uncomfortable silence settles again. He didn't want to talk, he didn't know what to say, frankly even if he did know what to say he probably wouldn't say it.

"Why'd you run?" Steve asks suddenly, breaking the silence like glass. Bucky hesitates, then decides to remain silent. "Please Buck, why'd you run?"

"I was scared," he admits, "I didn't trust myself. I was afraid. I was cowardly. I just..." I'm a monster. I don't deserve your kindness. "I needed space." I'm dangerous and can't trust myself. "You shouldn't have saved me."

"Bucky I don't get what it is about you and thinking you don't deserve help, or kindness, its not something you deserve, or earn, its something people do for you because they want to, its not... Its not something you do or don't deserve! Why can't you understand that?!" Steve shouts.

"Because! Your lives would be easier without me! You should have left me! Forgotten I existed! It would be easier that way! I didn't ask for your help and I don't see why you insist on helping me! I don't want your help! I don't want your compassion! I should've never accepted your help in the first place!" Bucky regrets the words the second they leave his lips. Steve looks like he was slapped.

"You know what... Fine." He walks out, leaving Natasha and Bucky alone.

"You don't really mean that... Do you?" She asks, looking at him.

"Yes. I mean every word. I should have never accepted either of your guys help." He growls, to frustrated, and emotionally overwhelmed to be able to apologize or to think straight. Natasha stands and goes to the elevator, leaving Bucky alone.

He bites his lip, chewing at it endlessly