Blurred Sides (COMPLETE)

7.11.4

Anakin walked forward, and he was carrying something in his hand. It was heavier on one end than on the other, and if he felt the edge of the heavy end he could tell that it was sharp.

He couldn't see where he was going, he only knew to walk forward. His vision was blurry, it was as if he was walking through extremely thick fog. He barely noticed the colorful blob on the ground as he walked and he almost stepped on it. Anakin couldn't tell what it was, but it had to be a person of some sort because sound was coming from it.

He felt his arms raise, but he did not know why. He hadn't raised his arms, someone or something else was moving them for him. If he concentrated, he could feel strings tied to his arms and legs. He lifted whatever was in his hand, and he brought it down upon the person on the ground.

When he made contact with their body, his vision shattered, literally. He must have been wearing a mask because all he could see were cracks. He couldn't move his arms to take it off, since only the strings could move him, but the mask fell off on its own, and Anakin looked down to see what had just happened.

His breath caught in his throat. Ahsoka. Ahsoka was on the ground in front of him.

He tried to kneel beside her, to help her, but his legs would not respond to him, only to the strings. When he looked down, he saw an ax in his hand.

No. No, no, no, he couldn't have. He couldn't have killed Ahsoka, he couldn't! He had promised her that he would never let anyone hurt her! Anakin tried to yell, to scream, to plead for Ahsoka to come back, but his voice would not work either. He could only move his head.

He saw the strings on his limbs, and he followed their path, unable to do anything else. They led up, up above Anakin, and they were connected to a wooden 'x', in the gnarly, withered hand cloaked in a black robe. A low, merciless cackle came from the person the hand belonged to, and chills ran down Anakin's spine. He had made him do this.

He looked back down at Ahsoka, but she was floating away as if a current were carrying her. Anakin tried to run after her broken body, but his puppeteer would not let him. Her body, bleeding, grew distant until Anakin realized what was happening. The current was taking her to the edge of the floor. She was going to fall!

With one last desperate attempt, he drew up all of his strength, but all that came out of him was a scream, a final plea to be released, to go after his Padawan, but he could only scream and watch as she fell over the edge and he lost her again.

"NO!!!" But it was too late. Ahsoka was over the edge, she had jumped, and she wasn't coming back.

Anakin didn't realize his dream was over, so when he suddenly regained the ability to move he darted over the edge of his bed and reached out to grab...nothing. Nothing was there. He lost his balance and fell over the side, onto the floor.

Instead of getting up and back into bed, Anakin only wept and his tears fell just like the water from the sewer line that Ahsoka had jumped from. They spilled onto his hands and he knelt on the ground in the fetal position, wishing now more than ever that he could go back, that he could stop her from leaving. He needed her, her joy, her Light, her strength, her banter, her hope, her loyalty, he needed every last piece of her that he had lost, but the only one he had was the chain hidden on his wrist.

It had been bad enough when he had been forced to watch her die over and over again, failing every time to rescue her. It had been bad enough when she had yelled in fury at him, merciless and hopeless. It had been bad enough when he had tried to save her.

This, though? This was worse. He had been the cause of her death, he had brought the ax down on her head. He hadn't thought twice about doing it, and he hadn't been able to apologize, or talk to her, or even look at her until she was already dead. He had been a puppet on a string. He had been the executioner.

Anakin wiped at his eyes and rose to his knees. He stared out the window, regretting falling asleep. He hadn't had a choice, though. He hadn't slept since his dream about the river and the gala was tonight. He needed to be rested. He hadn't had a choice.

The gala. The gala was today, which meant today was March 2nd. March 2nd. March 2nd.

The date echoed in his head over and over and over until he couldn't think of anything else. It was not only the day of the gala but the day of his prediction. Today was the day he believed the Sister would fulfill her promise to kill the Chancellor. Today was March 2nd.

Today marked one year since he had last seen Ahsoka Tano.

He unclasped his glove as the tears started to fall again. He pulled out her Padawan braid and clenched it tight in his hands. Anakin knew that there was no way in the galaxy that she could hear him, but he spoke to her anyway.

"Snips, please," he whispered, gasping between his tears. "I need you tonight. Please, just help me one more time. Just this once. I need your joy with me. I need your Light, I need your strength. Please, just tonight, I need you."

No answer came. None ever did.

Please.

Author's Note: Short chapter, but I had to set this last thing up before Phase 1 started.
Did anyone notice what date I chose for my AU Ahsoka trial? It's the same day that the Clone Wars episode 'The Wrong Jedi' aired. I figured it would suit the occasion. Lots of love! <3