The Root of All Evil

Chapter 30

"Mommy?"

Katie and her glass of whiskey were interrupted by Charlotte one evening far past bedtime. Looking up from her book, Katie smiled at her daughter and patted the spot beside her on the couch.

"What's up, kiddo?"

"Do you still love Happy?"

"Oh," Katie huffed, "I will always love Happy, sweetheart. I couldn't stop if I tried."

Charlotte listened carefully and nodded. "Okay. Do you love Angel?"

"I do," Katie said.

There was no hesitation with her answers because she knew the truth, it was something she'd been obsessing over since the fight in the park a week before.

"So who is going to come live with us, then?"

Never in her adult life, even when she worked as an escort, had Katie felt more like a whore than she did right then.

"Uh," she was speechless, "Charlie, I uh, I think you're learning some negative behaviors from me. We don't need either of them to live with us, we can get along fine, us and your brothers, without Happy or Angel or your father around."

"Okay," she shrugged.

"I mean that, I really do," Katie said firmly. "You don't need a man to be content and to live a good life, okay? They just add to it. A romantic relationship with a man, or a woman, is the cherry on top of a wonderful life you're fully capable of creating for yourself, by yourself."

Charlotte seemed confused by her mother's words. "But you're sad."

"I'm not," Katie said defensively. "I'm just...distracted."

"Mom," Charlotte sighed.

"I'm not sad," Katie said. "Ever since I met Hap I've just always liked being in a relationship and since I've met him I've only been in two, one with him and one with Angel. So, yeah, I miss them both and it's a huge adjustment, but I'm not sad."

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Oh shit," Katie groaned. "What now?"

"Never mind," Charlie said. She gave her mother a hug and jumped off the couch.

"Oh no, you don't." When Katie hugged her back she didn't let go, instead, she lifted Charlotte up and plopped her back down on the couch. "What?"

"I like Angel more than Happy," she said, "But I think you like Happy more."

Annoyed, not with Charlie but with herself, Katie nodded and scooped her daughter up. "You're getting so big."

"Was I right? About Happy?"

Without immediately answering her, Katie took Charlie back to her room and laid her in bed. "Look, this is not something you need to be worrying about. Okay? I don't want you losing sleep over my relationships and I'm sorry my choices have obviously been on your mind."

"I'm okay, mommy," Charlie said cheerfully.

Katie knew that wasn't exactly true but Charlotte, even as mature as she was, couldn't see it. Sitting in the silent and pitch black room with Charlotte until she fell asleep, Katie was forced to think about both men. Tears streaked her cheeks, both missing and despising each of them at the same time, but knowing her indecision caused this pain. Finally, sneaking out of the room, Katie went back to the couch but didn't pick up her book where she left off. Downing the rest of her drink she snuck out the back door and lit a joint.

"You okay?"

The voice came out of the darkness, deep, terrifying, but familiar, and caused Katie to yelp.