A Heart of Stone with a Coat of Gold

Lost in Light

My dear readers here is a bit of a context to help you better grasp the meaning of the chapter.

In business schools, companies come to hire managers. Usually, good companies come first and pick the best of the lot. The leftover students generally are hired in smaller firms. The selection process has usually interviews - both HR and Technical. 

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A man in a blue suit stood behind the podium as he addressed the crowd below. He looked to be in his early 50's, was short and stout and had the feel of a jovial grandpa who you meet at Christmas dressed as Santa. 

"Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen. I would try to be as short and crisp as possible because I guess we all are hungry, aren't we? But as bankers, I know we are in the habit of banking on the contrary, so I may very well take my time." He gave a soft chuckle, and the crowd below followed suit, except Neel and Anu, who honestly didn't find anything funny in the comment. Still, she continued listening to the man. He was a man you would like in first sight, who puts you at ease. He was also Neel's boss, he had mentioned it when they had arrived. She, however, hadn't said a single word to him since she arrived, she was still so pissed at his attitude since the morning. 

The man in the podium continued, "Well, I know some anecdotes are mandatory in such speeches, so I may very well cut to the chase and jump on to it. 16 years ago, I visited a business school in a recruitment drive. The placement season was already over, only a few students were left unplaced, the bottom rungs of the crowd. I honestly didn't expect to find a good candidate but we had one opening so we went with the interviews. 

Finally, I was left with 2 choices. One was a young man with great grades, scored very well in the technical interview, but the HR team dismissed him. "He didn't speak much, gave curt bookish replies, like off a book," they told me. The other guy seemed a jack of all trades, nothing exceptional, but good in all areas. So I decided to take one round of final interviews myself. 

I had seen the desperation in the other candidates, ours was one of the last good firms in the campus. But here this young man enters, in his 20's, calm and composed. He takes one glance at a paper I am holding, notices my handwriting and nonchalantly hands me a pen, saying, "Sir, you write a bit like me, use this pen next time, it would be a lot more legible." Now, who does that?" And he roared in laughter. The crowd again followed suit.

Anu found it a bit funny, but nothing that she would lose her mind for. The crowd here sure was strange, she thought.

The old man continued, "I took a call against all the HR department. Sorry guys." He turned to a group of people who looked the most jovial of the lot, an exception among the serious faces. The crowd chuckled in amusement. "I hired the young man who gave me the pen. 16 years down the line, I am so lucky that I took the decision. He has been one of my best employees, and strangely though, we rarely have a personal talk, one of the truest friend I have made in my life. I am retiring from tomorrow, as you all very well know. Its been a fulfilling career thanks to all of you, but I would like to enjoy a quiet life now. From tomorrow, the new VP - Banking will be Mr Neel Rajan, who I welcome on the stage with his beautiful young wife to say a few words. A word of advice Neel, please start smiling, we bankers are already despised so much. And here's your pen Neel" He said, waving a pen in front of the crowd. The crowd guffawed again in laughter.

Neel straightened his tie. He was perspiring so much. She could feel the nervousness, oozing out him. He couldn't speak two sentences without smoking in between, how would he address the crowd? Anu had never wondered about his work. How did he behave there?

Although she was still angry with him, she couldn't see him like this. She put forward her hand and grasped his, trying to calm him down. Neel looked surprised, it was the first contact they had since their wedding night. "Be calm," she smiled and said. And he did.

He took a deep breath, held her waist, and nudged her to walk to the podium. She felt uncomfortable with his hand on her waist but followed him silently. He walked to the podium and took a deep breath. When he spoke and his voice boomed in the hall "I am extremely honoured to be given this new responsibility. I am thankful to my boss, mentor and friend, Mr Raghu Srivastava to have put such faith in me all this time. " He was breathing heavily. Was it his first time addressing such a huge crowd, Anu wondered. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead.

"I couldn't have been here without the support of my lovely wife Anu. Although she has been in my life for only a short while, her support and courage are what pushes me forward." His breaths were getting heavier. He was afraid, she realised. He gave her a pleading glance, and continued.

"I thank you all for the trust you have put in me and now will pass the mic to my wife Anu to say a few words." He gestured her to the mic. 

She couldn't believe the man. He had chickened out and made her the scapegoat. What was she supposed to say, she wasn't prepared for it at all. The crowd waited impatiently for her to speak. She could hear their murmurs.

 "Thank you Neel" She stuttered while speaking. 

What should she say? She hadn't prepared a speech like Neel. Hell, she wasn't even prepared mentally. She could see the men down ogling her, while their wives gave her judging looks. Her mind went blank. She said a simple,  "Thank you all" and ended. The house erupted in a sound of clapping, as they came down the dais. A lady came to the podium and conducted the further proceedings. She spoke with such confidence and grace that Anu couldn't help but admire.

She noticed an empty table in the corner and hurried to it. People were congratulating Neel and he was shaking hands with them. While she was only getting the stares, after the fool she had made of herself, infront of them. She hadn't been able to speak two sentences properly.

She could notice the woman judging her. And the men stripping her in their minds. As she scanned the area, she couldn't find a single woman near her age. All older men and women. She wanted to cry but she stopped herself. Not here.

She saw the difference now. Between hers and Neel's. He lived in a different world altogether. One she couldn't be a part of. She was all alone, she realised basking in the yellow light of the chandeliers.

People say you can be lost in darkness. Anu would have told otherwise. You can be lost in lights also.