It was raining. Heavily.
Heavy pear-drops poured from above in abandon, snaking along the rooftop and then circling over the edge, barely managing a few metres; before the pull from beneath became too much to bear, and they finally trickled down over Anu's face.
She was on a wooden armchair, which she had dragged out to the veranda to sit while they waited for the cab to arrive. Right then, she was looking at the white translucent blanket of white rain, that was flooding their yard, and she was unsure as ever of how to feel about it. Rain and Anu had been always been an odd couple since childhood. For once, she was fine with it until she was covered by a shade, and she even relished the sweet earthen aroma of the soil mixing in with the rain. On the other hand, she hated getting drenched in it. More accurately, she hated after getting drenched in the rain. The clothes which would then stick to the skin, made her feel uncomfortable. And icky. She shuddered even then thinking about it.
Neel stood nearby, leaning over the rails of the veranda, with a usual cigarette pincered between his fingers. His blue eyes peered over the driveway and then over his phone alternatively; his eyes were on the lookout for the cab he had booked half an hour back. He took a drag but surprisingly, no puff of smoke came out from his lips.
"Dammit," he cursed. She chuckled - the rain had sneaked up on the cigarette too, and now it was wet and useless. He chucked it over the rails, onto the yard in irritation.
As the music of the showers and the rain hit her ears, she sensed a calm washing over her. A lot had happened over the course of a month and a half. She had applied for the colleges Neel had suggested and as expected, had got a call of an interview from all of them. Over the next weekend, she had gone through gruelling sessions of mock interviews by Neel. The man who wouldn't even spare a little girl, so one could only imagine how hard he was on his wife, an adult.
Try as she might, even until the night before the first interview, she was not able to please him with her answers. He was harsh, he pointed her every little error, but he described in detail what the interviewer wanted to hear and expected from a candidate. Although she had detested the time in his study, yet she had endured. And while her spirits had been a bit dampened after hearing all his criticisms, in the end, the preparation did work.
Over the next week or so, she had attended the interviews. A couple of the campuses were pretty far, so she had taken a train a day earlier. For the ones that were near, she had booked a cab. In truth, she had found the interviews pretty tame compared to the back-breaking ordeal she had experienced with her dear old husband.
Finally, after two weeks back, she had four offers in her hand. She had only been rejected by only one college- a pretty decent performance in her own opinion. She had been elated, smiling widely when she had informed Neel about the results. The sullen man had only nodded, without a care in the world.
At that moment, Anu had felt a pang of disappointment, a small hurt. She had not expected some grand applause from him, but simply a small congratulations, or a half-mumbled 'well-done'; even a small smile. But he had none for her. Only the same stoic sapphire eyes that had looked away lifelessly.
She had stared at Aryan who was staring at her over his shoulders and a haunting thought had hit her: what if years later, his son would be in the same place as she was? What if one day Aryan would come home and show his father what he had achieved. A yearning every kid has, for their father's eyes to shine with pride. But all he would get from his father would be an icy and bitter apathy, one that would slowly but surely crush him. Bit by bit a new Neel would be born.
She had had a revelation in that instant. Major Rajan, her father-in-law had created her husband. The Neel Rajan she knew. But maybe in some sick twisted way, the major had been suffering as well, and he had simply passed the same to his son. And soon once again history would repeat itself. Neel would pass that same heritage he got from his father to Aryan, his own son.
It was all an endless cycle; an interminable inheritance of misery.
But how could one break it? Anu had pondered but she had found no answers.
Later that day, after a small discussion with Neel she had selected one college among the four. It was the best choice among them and the campus was only a four- hour drive from their home; so she could come and visit at weekends to meet Reema.
There had been another debacle in his study after a few days, albeit a small one. Getting loans was proving to be difficult. It was understandable; the college she had chosen was good but not among the best. Hence, the banks were demanding security.
"Let it be," Neel had urged, "I will pay your fees. I have enough balance in my account."
But Anu had resisted. A small argument had soon followed. In the end, in his exasperation, Neel had torn off a sheet from a notebook in anger and scribbled –
'I, Neel Rajan, offer a loan to my wife Anu Sharma Rajan, which she is free to return as and when she desires.'
He had then signed it and slid it across the desk to her. "Be reasonable for God's sake. That should suffice. Instead of the bank, think of it as a loan from me." He had then lit a cigarette.
For once, Anu had to gulp her pride. She needed this; she knew it. She examined the sheet of paper. "But I will return your money. With interest."
Neel had snorted, "Of course, I am a banker, my dear wife. At 10%. That's the highest rate any bank would ever charge." He had taken a deep drag and then blew out a thick but neat white ring of smoke.
The college she had chosen had sent her clear instructions by post. They had demanded a visit to the campus on a stipulated date, where they had to submit the fees along with her past documents for verification. They had also attached an invitation to a 'welcome dinner' in the evening. The invitation read -
'We hereby invite you and your family to witness the day when the future business leaders embark on this new journey.'
Her family? She had no one except Reema. She doubted her sister would really enjoy tailing behind her as she completed the admission formalities all day just to attend a party afterwards; one where there would be hardly any kids other than her.
A year earlier, after Ishan Bhaiyya had died, she had given up on her dream. But here she was, and it was finally coming to fruition. The only thing was, there was no one to share her joy with.
Then she had thought of Neel. Should she invite him? She had bit her lip as she had contemplated. He was her husband. And she could not deny; none of it would have been possible without Neel. To an outsider the man would seem merely as an arrogant rich husband spending money on his trophy wife to make her happy. But she knew better; she knew he had truly supported her.
It was almost amusing that when one thinks of support, it is usually words of encouragement and comfort. Yet here was a man who had offered her none. But yet, in a weird twisted way, he had cared for her. She was there because of him- about to step into a new life, one she had always wished for, only because he had cared for her. And at that moment, she had felt a bit thankful to him.
Life sure was strange. A year ago, she had left herself free, afloat, to the winds of fate. The fate that had ruined her life. Now the same fate was putting its pieces back together, in a strange inexplicable turn of events, using a broken man who didn't want to be fixed.
After much thought, she had asked him later to attend the dinner with her, a bit embarrassed, not being able to meet his eyes. Neel had been surprised and she had a feeling that he had almost wanted to decline at that moment. Strangely, after a long pause - one in which he had simply gazed at her - he had simply nodded in agreement.
So now they were waiting for the cab to arrive, which would take her on a ride to her new life. Neel lit another cigarette impatiently and blew out a puff; this one too was a perfect ring. The circle rose in the air, the wind carrying it to Anu on its invisible back.
She poked the smoke when it came near, in turn, breaking the cycle. Then she simply smiled.
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Note- Dear Readers, sorry for the short chapter. Another chapter would be released in a couple of days, so do not worry.
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A Heart of Stone with a Coat of Gold
General Fiction"I steal smiles, Anu. That's how I live. I stole the smile of an innocent cherry tree. One who I brought in my life only to then burn it to the ground. You, Reema, my mother all are the same for me. And I am afraid, soon, I will steal it from my son...