A Heart of Stone with a Coat of Gold

A Breach in the Fortress - Part 1

Note - Firstly dear readers, I am truly sorry for the minor delay. As an apology here's the next chapter. Hope you like it. It is a bit long so I am uploading in two parts. Enjoy!

Dedicated to a comrade who has helped me a lot in my writing.

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Neel stood in silence at the open entrance, watching intently as his brother's figure receded into the evening horizon. He finally tore his eyes away, taking slow steps towards his son. Anu was relieved; even in this state, the man had the sense to take care of his son.

Neel picked up Aryan, who still held his uncle's gift and patted him gently on his back. Like clockwork, the baby quickly fell asleep back to his dreams. After all his sleep had been interrupted midway.

He then turned to Reema. "Reema, why don't you do your homework in the study? Your sister and I need to talk about something important."

Reema threw her sister a frightened look. She had never seen her brother-in-law so angry. Not even when she had called him a 'thief'.  Anu merely nodded; she herself was dreading the conversation ahead. To her surprise, Neel was quick to catch on to Reema's fears; his expression changed.

He did something very unlike himself; he leaned forward till the tall man was a little less taller, and then kept his hand on Reema's head. It was not a pat, nor a caress. He simply placed it there.

When he spoke, it was accompanied by an expression with what seemed like a horribly failed attempt at a smile, and which came out more like a grimace. Yet his voice was gentle "Don't worry. We are simply gonna talk. I am not going to hurt your sister."

When Reema had finally left, within seconds the old Neel was back, the husband Anu had come to know over the last few months. He ambled to the other side of the room. He took a seat right across her, staring directly into her brown deer-like eyes - probing, gauzing, accusing - like a hungry wolf. His face was stern; the brows were drawn in, his jaw tight like a rope.

The words that came out seemed strange coming from the mouth which had been gentle a few moments ago. They were icy - cold and cutting - his lips barely parted, his teeth grinding as he spoke. "Why did he come today? What did you guys talk about? I want the truth."

The hush that followed was uncomfortable. Anu felt uneasy, and a bit afraid too. How would he react when she would tell him that she had been prying into his past? But a part of her realised; there was no point in hiding it now.

She just took a deep breath. Then in the most soothing, calming, slow voice she could muster, she started recounting how she had contacted Dhruv and then all the stuff Dhruv had told her about him.

At the end of it, Neel uttered a harsh growl. "Who gave you permission to do such a thing?"

As he spoke, for a fleeting second their gaze met, briefly, before he had the chance to swiftly avert it.

At that moment Anu felt like for the first time she was truly seeing her husband, His eyes told her what his words were trying to shroud in anger. Or maybe they were merely trying to drown it in rage. His eyes that were burning in abandon - like the devil's blue flame in hell. Flames which were cold as ice but could still burn you. Flames of his soul which at the moment wanted to destroy her but instead only were burning him more and more.

There was a dichotomy to the whole affair which Anu sensed clearly. Yes, he was angry at her. He was beside himself with rage; furious that she had looked into the hidden chest which he had tried to hide from the world's eyes. But there was another emotion that was being overwhelmed by the fury.

For the first time since she had known him, she saw something else submerged below the blue ocean. It was nor pride and neither rage. Nor hopelessness and neither despair. It was none of the facets that she had witnessed earlier.

It was just pure unadulterated terror in the most refined form.

Yet, he kept his face composed. Hiding his insides, he maintained the facade. Like a turtle's shell hiding his soft skin from the world. But this shell was brittle. At least right at that moment. Anu sensed his vulnerability; she knew she had to breach his defences right at the very moment. Else soon his guard would be up.

True to her instincts, he took out a cigarette and struck a match. It flared for a second then went out even before Neel had the chance to light his cigarette. He tried again. The same result. He cussed before he finally succeeded in his third attempt.  Anu realised it was a struggle to raise his walls again, walls which had broken momentarily. Maybe he was hoping the smoke would hide the breach.  It wouldn't. Not if Anu could help it.

He was still waiting for her answer. She cautiously measured her words as she replied. "Because I am your wife Neel. I have the right to know you. Just as you did for me. Didn't you talk to Nisha about me?"

Neil raised his eyebrows. He was surprised that Anu knew about the conversation he had with her friend.

"My wife!" He scoffed. "When have you ever done anything for me as a wife?"

He took a deep drag off the butt and then exhaled out a thick grey cloud. He spoke again, his tone rushed but not loud. "Why are you doing this? What are you hoping to achieve? Nothing good will come out from it. Trust me on this. Please." He emphasized the last word. His voice. Anu felt something was off about it. He should have been angry. Yet it seemed as if he was trying to pacify her, to desist her from digging deeper.

But what more was there to know? She knew it all by now. Or did she?

And she mused on the question. Why was she doing this? She looked at the man sitting across her. The slightly grey hair. The grey suit that he wore. Her eyes quickly scanned the room around her. The bookshelf with the faded old books. The walls of the room painted white, bland. Nowhere were the bright colours. It was as if someone had stolen it from his life.

As an image of his younger self flashed before her eyes, she remembered the wide-smiled blue-eyed kid. She looked at him, unable to believe that he was the same boy. Where had the smile gone, where had the colours vanished?

Then she went through his back in her mind. The scars. How must he have felt, all alone in that hell? Not a single soul to help him. Millions of thoughts raced through her mind in a single instant.

And for the first time, she felt the pathos feasting inside her husband. The terrible loneliness in which he has been living for the past 25 years. Accustomed to living in the darkness for decades, maybe even relishing it, would he be able to see the light, if she tried? Or has it already been too late?