A Heart of Stone with a Coat of Gold

Deer in a Tiger's Den

Author's note - 

Dear Readers,

I know a lot of you have been reading this book and I thank you for it. The book has crossed 700 reads and got over 100 votes. I am elated frankly speaking.
I would love if you could give me a chance to know you, about how you feel, and give me a chance to thank you personally. I would appreciate it. Please share your views in the comments.

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It was late when finally Anu left Natasha's room. The guest room was upstairs and as she passed the living room, she noticed Nishant passed out on the sofa, tucked under a blanket. Neel was nowhere to be seen. She ambled up the stairs, her head still dizzy from the wine. Hazy thoughts flew across it, Natasha's words echoing from afar in her ears. As she entered the guest room, the sight of Neel smoking on the bedside met her eyes. He was still dressed in his suit, shaking slightly like a pendulum from all the drinking. His blue eyes were bloodshot red, giving him a slight devilish appearance in the dimly lit room. 

The room was a small one, had a dressing table beside the large bed which had a single blanket kept at the base. The room smelled a bit stale, probably from being unused for long, although a  jasmine aroma of air freshener hung in the air. Anu was uncertain of the colour of the walls, with the lights being off, only the faint night lamp glowing in the room.

 She walked to the dressing table and started unhooking her earrings. She felt uneasy, it had been a long time she had been alone with Neel. Even their first night, Aryan had been sleeping in the crib, but he was now in the kids' room, adjacent to Natasha's, who had agreed to see to him for the night. At the moment, Anu wished Aryan to be with them, she didn't want to be alone with Neel.

"Nishant thinks I should move forward in life." Neel's low voice pierced the silence like a gunshot. "What do you think?" He asked taking a drag off the yellow butt of the cigarette and walking towards her.

Anu facing the dressing table saw a dim shadow behind her in the mirror. "I think it has been a long time. Are you ready to move forward with me?" His voice was gentle, barely a whisper. But Anu sensed something else, it was not a request, it was not an order, it was an invitation.

Natasha's words rang in her ears. Yes, even if the man deserved a chance, she wasn't ready, not yet. But what if she was wrong, what if she would never be able to accept him?

"I have never said, but you are a beautiful woman Anu," Neel whispered in her ears, as Anu could even feel the cold breath emanating from the man, he was so close. He reached out his hand and clasped hers, which were clutching the table tightly, still facing the mirror. Warm met the cold skin and Anu flinched.

She saw his face move close to her. "Let's make a fresh start, Anu." He told her as he moved even closer. She could feel the tall man looming over her from behind like a shadow, a canopy. His chest was touching her back and she could smell the tobacco and whiskey from his mouth. His nose touched her neck as he sucked in her aroma. Soon, she felt his face rubbing against her skin as his lips connected to her bare smooth skin, gently planting light kisses on her nape. She shivered as she could feel his coarse beard, his moustache chafing her skin.

 Anu's heart slowed to a standstill. This was not the right moment she knew it. Even if they had a future, it could not start like this. "Neel, no, we are both drunk." She mumbled. 

"But why does it feel so right," he replied as he continued his onslaughts. He finally placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around. She saw his eyes, but somehow all she could see was the red. The gentle sad blue had somehow drowned in the blood. Only the hunger was visible in them.  

He held her chin gently and moved his lips closer to hers.  And for the first time, since she had started to know him a bit, she was truly afraid of him.

"No" Anu yelled as she pushed him back. Anu realised she was scared of him, truly scared. She trembled while he gazed at her with fury and anger in the red eyes, his chest heaving with deep breaths. 

"Aren't you my wife? Isn't this what we are supposed to do?" He said, his tone loud and harsh, like a whip.

"Not like this. A fresh start cannot be like this." She said with all her conviction, still quivering from head to toe, still terrified of him, but still nevertheless staring deep into the red eyes, with the blue still hidden in the dark.

As they met with his, just for a moment,  it was sudden, like he saw something in it, a  revelation had struck him. His eyes gained focus, and like a mirage in the desert, Anu could again see the sapphire in them. "Are you afraid of me, Anu?" He asked in disbelief. 

She just nodded.

He stumbled a bit and slumped on the bed, and then slid on the floor. He mumbled in a low voice, as if to himself. "What am I doing?" 

Anu seated beside him on the bed. Her hands still trembling, she placed them on the shoulders of the man seated on the floor. Neel lit a cigarette and then turned to her as he asked, "You must think of me as a monster, don't you?"

Anu gave no answer to the man. She herself wasn't sure.

"Neel, if we have to have a future, it needs to be based on understanding. And love. Right now, what you were about to do, was it because of love? Do you even love me?" She asked in a low voice, as gently as possible.

Neel stared deep into her, and then after a long while he replied, "No." He then continued as if lost in own world. "Love. It's a strange word Anu. I think I once knew the meaning of it once, but that was a long long time ago." He rambled, it was probably the alcohol talking.

Anu sighed. When she spoke again, her tone was gentle, a bit timid. "What kind of stone are you made of Neel? Did you even love Shruti? Ever?"

"I don't know" He simply replied.

"Your mother?" Anu shot him another.

"I don't know" came the curt reply.

"Aryan?" she gave her final try. It this would not melt his heart a bit, nothing would, she was sure.

Neel hesitated.

While Anu waited for his reply. Waited a long long time. But he never gave her an answer, all through the night.

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