Chapter Eleven- Ours
I spent the night after the date Luke organised for us wondering how I would put how I was feeling into words. Because the truth is; I didn’t know what to feel anymore. I was just numb. I was dreading when the time would come to confess to Luke what happened. I just didn’t even want to think about it anymore.
I picked up my iPhone from my bedside table and scrolled through my contacts until I came to ‘Jai’. I texted him;
Meet me at the oval tomorrow morning.- Dakota
I heard a buzz and saw that Jai had immediately texted me back.
Sure. What time?- Jai
11am?- Dakota
Okay.- Jai
I sighed while throwing my phone on the ground, rolling over in my bed and gradually falling asleep- escaping the stress I was under.
I woke up the next morning and immediately walked over to the oval, considering that it was already nearly 11am. I didn’t even put make up on or do my hair- I just brushed my teeth and chucked on a pair of skinny jeans and a loose top with purple vans.
By the time I got to the oval, Jai was already there. He was sitting on one of the benches just staring out into the distance. I silently went over to him and sat down on his right.
“So do you want to explain to me what happened on Saturday?” I looked at Jai with raised eyebrows.
He looked down at his hands and sighed heavily before speaking.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Well you better say something so I can explain to your brother what the fuck happened.”
“He doesn’t need to know.”
“He doesn’t need to know? He doesn’t need to know!? Jai- Luke and I are dating! I can’t keep something like this from him!”
“You do realise what drama this will cause right?”
“Well I guess you should have thought about that before you kissed me.” I walked away from the conversation- not wanting to argue with Jai anymore.
As I walked away- I could hear Jai’s footsteps trailing behind me. I couldn’t understand why he was being like this. He’s always been the caring best friend that’s always been there for me. Now he’s an argumentative asshole who’s trying to ruin mine and his brother’s relationship.
“What do you even want from me anymore?! You’re supposed to be my best friend…” I trailed off while looking at Jai sadly.
“I just want things to go back to the way they were before any of this ever happened.” I felt a warm tear roll down my cheek.
Jai walked over to me and held me in his arms. I was going to push him away- but decided against it.
“I know. But it’s not that easy.”
“What do you mean?” I pulled away and stood facing him.
An awkward silence stood between us as Jai became silent. A few minutes went by until he spoke up.
“Because I want to be with you.” He looked down at his feet.
I didn’t know what to say. Everything that I had planned to say to him in my defence immediately left my mind and I was left with nothing. On one hand- I want to be with Luke. But on the other hand I felt bad for rejecting someone who I loved so dearly. Honestly- if I wasn’t with Luke, I would happily be with Jai. He’d be an amazing boyfriend and I know one day he’s going to make some girl extremely happy. That girl just wasn’t me right now.
“Jai i-“ Before I could finish, he cut me off.
“I know, I know. You just want to be friends.”
“Yeah…You’ll find the perfect girl for you one day. I promise. You just have to let go of what we don’t have.”
“I hope so. Look, I am sorry for everything that happened yesterday. I didn’t want it to happen that way.”
“It’s alright. But sooner or later, we’re going to have to tell Luke.”
“I guess so.”
I felt better knowing the full backstory behind what happened. I was just at the point where I wanted nothing more than to just be with Luke. To be a normal couple dating, and not having thousands of people trying to break us up and telling me that I didn’t deserve him at all. The relationship is by no means perfect…but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
“Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves. They’ll judge it like they know about me and you. And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do. The jury’s out, my choice is you.”
