The Stray Kids of Edogawa Rampo

Internet Stars

INTERNET STARS

“Definitely not porn...”

Z E N Gomez
December 9, 1:54 pm.
Waltermart.

I never thought that having a new hair colour can be this embarrassing.

“I can see girls undressing you in their minds,” Twelve grinned as he handed me a disposable face mask. I sighed in frustration and scratched my neck. I snatched the face mask and wore it. “Magpa-blonde na rin kaya ako?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, no more blondes please.” Lance muttered under his breath as he walked towards the baggage counter. “Bawal magpasok ng payong sa supermarket, kiddos.”

Hiro shot us a puzzled look, “Really?”

I shrugged and removed my hood, I got my face mask anyway. “I did shopping sometimes but I don’t bring umbrella with me.”

“Taray, alagang sunscreen.”

I just grinned and we followed Lance inside the grocery. I avoided eye contact from everyone, which is pretty hard since they’re all looking at me, to avoid being traced. Oh please, artificial blonde guys aren’t unique in this country anymore! Kahit mga tambay makakakita ka ng naka-bleach na buhok so what’s new with my hair?!

Still, I need to get used to this. It’s ironic how I catch their attention because of my hair when in fact I’m in hiding. Well, it’s one of the best hiding techniques though. Hide it somewhere everyone can see.

“So, what’s on our list?” I leaned forward. Lance quirked his lips.

“I don’t do list.”

I furrowed my brows, “That’s weird. I expect you to be thrifty since you’re the one budgeting funds. Why not?”

He sighed, “Lalaki rin ako’t natutukso. Kahit may listahan, bumibili pa rin ako ng tatlong balot ng Lays at Pochi. I can’t help it you know? It’s a drug. A drug.”

Nobody’s perfect. Right.

“Mommy! You’ll have to buy me this!”

Napangiwi nalang ako nang magtatakbo si Twelve sa TAHIMIK na hallway ng Waltermart habang NAGSISISIGAW. He’s very happy with a bottle that he’s hugging. Other customers are eyeing him because of his weird antics and swear, I can feel Lance’s internal desire to disappear or pretend that he doesn’t know him.

“That’s poison, wanna bet?” Hiro whispered.

“I’m all in,” I grimaced.

Lance was emitting a dark aura when Twelve reached us, “Mommy, mommy, mooooooommmyyyyyy! This is necessity, okay?! NECESSITY.”

“Just what the fuck is that?” Lance said trembling with rage, treacherous smile on his face. “Don’t tell me that’s nonsense ‘cause I’ll send you flying, daddy.”

“Oh! No! This is definitely a need. Tyaran!”

I narrowed my eyes at the bottle. “Apple Cider Vinegar. Suka?” tanong ko. Lance is THIS close to releasing the Kraken. “You humiliated yourself for vinegar?”

Hiro smiled to himself, “Talo, putangina.” He’s probably referring to the bet.

Twelve looked at me with such distaste, as if I am the most moronic fella he ever encountered. “Stars, are you even human? This is THE Apple Cider Vinegar! This is not your ordinary vinegar, you uncultured swine! This is a great skin pampering ingredient that helps to remove bad omens on your epidermis. It is anti-aging, dimwit. Anti-aging.”