Recovery {wRoNg sequel}

27

I immediately reached for my hoodie across the bed while covering my chest with my arm. My face was flashing red as I pulled the hoodie over my head while facing my back to Grayson.

I pulled the hood over my hair and tucked it in as if that made this situation better.

"I didn't mean to interf-" Grayson began.

"Nothing was gonna happen don't worry." I said cutting him off. Ethan has a disappointed look on his face.

He really thought he was bout to get laid tonight. To be fair it seemed like it. I had gone more extreme then I ever have. Then I ever imagined I would.

The guilt rushed over me. What the fuck was wrong with me lately?

How could I not have considered my religion, my own morals?

The thoughts flooded over me and I just needed to get away from Ethan and this situation. Talk about mood swings.

I grabbed my things and wrapped my hijab loosely over my head.

"Where are you going?" Ethan cried as I stormed out of the door.

"I need to go figure things out?" I replied.

"Did I do something wrong?" He was fiddling with his pants and I'm assuming he was trying to hide his erection from the previous moments we shared.

"No you didn't, you did everything right I just-" a sigh left my lips.

"Talk to me."

"I just need to think." I muttered quickly before running down the stairs of their apartment flat, not considering the elevator.

He let me go and I appreciated him for that. If he did run after me I would just melt back into his arms and go back to cuddling with him in his bed. I needed a clear mind.

________________

It had been 3 hour since I left Ethan's bed and I was stuck staring at a wall on my single bed. I couldn't help think about how much I wanted to stay but something in me made me leave.

It was the real me. I knew it wasn't right.

In Islam zina is what is called sex either before marriage or even after, but after is commonly known as adultery.

Marriage in Islam is meant to unify people and help not to create broken family's and bring peace between two families. Marriage was more than sex it was committing and raising a respectful ummah (community). It was finding a partner that was right for you and who brought out the best in you.

I almost did something I would regret for the rest of my life. I wouldn't sound serious to non religious people, but it was something that would change me. I would be going against everything I was raised with and everything I spend my whole life committing to.

Now, I was frozen and thinking about my life decisions in the last few years.

My relationship with Ethan has become less restricted because I did not care. I knew I loved him and that's all I thought about and nothing else.

I loved him so what could possibly go wrong. As long as he was there, nothing could harm me, failing college had no effect on me. It was stupid to think my life revolves around loving him as if it had consumed my whole life.

I would think about him for days on end about his face and the way he turns red when him and Grayson argue. About his lips and they way they felt against mine. About his scent and how my clothes always smelt like him when I left their apartment. Everything about him had me so consumed I was head over heels.

I love Ethan, but was it enough.

__________________________

Sorry I've been completely m.i.a, but it was for personal reasons and now I'm back I guess.

This book will be coming to an end and you might like it or hate it. I'll try my best.

My condolences to Ethan and Grayson, I can't imagine what they're feeling. The only right thing to do is for people to respect them and their privacy.

                                  ~s