Recovery {wRoNg sequel}

28

   
I was addicted. There was no other way to describe it.

I did what I did weeks ago; distance myself from Ethan. I had done so much soul search I guess you could call it.

I took time to myself and actually lied and said I had gone home so I'd be left alone. Sandra wasn't too happy with the lie.

"So you're just gonna sit here?" She asked.

"I am listening to a podcast for the last time!" I was frustrated. Sexually you could say.

I was staying away from Ethan because I knew if I say him again or if we touched I would lost it.

I put my headphones back on and laid on the coach with my feet in the air.

The podcast was about struggle in Islam. It talked about fighting the haram things in life and focusing on Allah (SWT). It was the only thing bringing me peace and keeping me sane.

These past few weeks I had changed. I was listening to quran, bettering myself my. I stopped wearing jeans and started wearing my old skirts again, even the occasional abaya. I forgot how free I felt in them. The joy of no one realising you're only wearing a bra and shorts underneath.

"You okay?" Sandra asked, lifting my feet sitting down and putting them over her lap.

I leaning upwards and adjusted the pillow behind my back.
"I'm fine. Why?"

"It's just... you've been different lately. Like in a good way for you I guess. You've been dressing the same way you used to when you lived at your parents house. Did your rebel faze run out?" She asked with a chuckle.

"I really think it has." I nodded because I hadn't put much thought into it lately.
"I guess..it's complicated. I'm just doing me right now and focusing on what makes me happy."

"Don't you think you owe Ethan an explanation at least?" She raised her eyebrow at me.

"You're right." I sighed. "I just haven't gotten to it and I don't want to disappoint him or make him feel like it was his fault."

"Are we talking bout the same Ethan here? Of course he'll understand. He respects you and you're religion so much he even reminds you to pray!" She said nudging me.

I giggled thinking about that time.

"Okay. I'll do it tonight when I get home. I'll call him and we'll talk it out."

"Good and in the mean time you can help me make some food cause there's literally nothing to eat!" She yelled.

"Damn what a fat bitch." I whispered but I wanted her to hear.

"Say it with your chest hoe." She snapped back.

__________________________

I got home pretty late because we almost burnt the house down. Sandra told me to watch the lasagna while she went to take a shower but I had my headphones on listening to my podcasts. So you predict what happened next.

I threw myself on my bed after saying my salaams to my uncle and aunt who were watching tv together. I wanted what they have when I'm older, or even now.

I laid there for a few minutes scrolling through my phone, but there was something short underneath my back. It was annoying but I was too lazy to even move.

I finally got my fat self up and unhooked my bra assuming that was the cause of my discomfort.

But no. It was a letter.

I grabbed it thinking it was probably something about taxes.

No, this was hand written.

"To Malika" it said.

If this is what I think it is...

My breathe began to quicken with my heartbeat.

Why would be he sending me a letter right now?
Did my stupid ass get caught in a lie?

Or was this for the same reason I wrote him a letter all those years ago.

__________________________

Yeah I'm not dead. Sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Just life has been getting soooo stressful it's exam season so ya know. I literally uninstalled the app which is my bad because after a while I forgot it existed.

So there will be one last chapter after this and then the book will be coming to an end. HEHEE.

Can I say thank you to everyone who actually reads this peace of crap of a book cause.. it's trash.

Anyways see you in a couple of weeks or even sooner for the final chapter.

~s