Wordless Conversations // Phan (sequel to Bring Me Home)

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My fist rested against the wall.

My hand stung - but what stung more was my heart when I saw the fear in her eyes.

It made my stomach lurch with guilt.

I stood in silence, staring at her.

Say something you idiot.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she ran away into her room.

I rushed after her without a second's thought.

My anger had subsided by now and guilt started to flood my mind.

I'm such a bad friend.

I scared her.

She opened up to me and now I've done this.

She was curled up in the far corner of her room.

She looked like me.

I was ruining her.

You ruin everyone.

I entered the room but didn't come near her.

I'd scared her enough.

"I'm sorry, Emma. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, I just get carried away in my mind sometimes. Phil-"

I faltered, and saw her head emerge, looking at me in concern.

Tears filled her eyes, she was scared and shaking. Yet still she cared.

"Phil would always try to help - to calm me down. He was scared I'd hurt myself. I always tried to make him leave - scared I'd hurt him. But he said that he knew I'd never hurt him."

Tears were falling from my face.

"But I did hurt him. He's in hospital and it's all my fault. I'm such a mess up. He saved me when I was stupid and I didn't return the favour. I shouldn't be here. Everyone would be better off if I wasn't here if I had left when I was supposed to then Phil would be okay and you would be okay and no one would have had to deal with me-"

A hand on my arm stopped me from my downward spiral, lifting me back up.

"Emma, I-"

Suddenly I was engulfed in a hug. She wrapped her arms tightly around my torso, grounding me and holding me as I tried to keep myself together. Her hands rubbed along the smalls of my spine, soothing me.

Just like Phil used to...