Wordless Conversations // Phan (sequel to Bring Me Home)

47

(third person POV still)

Phil wracked his brain for where Dan could have been.

If he wasn't trying to kill himself through the use of cutting or overdosing, what would he try?

A car? No. That's not a definitive death. The car could brake or swerve.

Train? Too far away. People would see the state he was in and stop him before he could get there.

Then a thought crossed Phil's mind.

Would he try jumping of the roof?

"No no no no no!" Phil muttered as he threw his body up the stairs towards the roof.

He didn't think he'd even ran that fast in his life.

"Please don't no no no!"

He collided with the door leading to the roof, making it crash open before stopping short as his eyes set on the silhouette stood on the edge of the roof.

A mop of curly brown hair in a loose-fitting shirt that looked more like a dress was surrounded by the glowing red sun.

"Dan? Please don't jump. Please." Phil was already thinking of the consequences as his eyes leaked tears.

He turned around in shock upon hearing Phil's voice.

"P-phil?" His voice wobbled. "But y-you're..."

Phil took steady steps towards Dan, but stopped when he started screaming, "No! Stop! If you come any closer, I'll jump!"

"Dan, why are you doing this? I'm back. You don't have to go. I can help you."

"No! You're not real! You're not! You're in a coma in hospital and you're NEVER COMING BACK!"

Phil stared in shock and surprise at the broken boy in front of him.

He'd only just woken up and already he was trying to persuade his boyfriend away from the edge of a roof.

He hated how much Dan had relapsed.

The scared expression on his face showed the conflict in his mind upon seeing Phil.

His schizophrenia must have gotten worse again is he's questioning the reality of this, Phil wondered if Dan had hallucinated him before.

His face was a mess - tears, scratches, alcohol and blood covered it.

Despite everything inside him being shattered, Phil still found him incredibly beautiful.

How was someone that beautiful so broken and insecure?

Dan felt nothing but fear as he stood on the wall - one step away from death.

The thing he wanted so badly for so long.

But here he was, wondering why his mind was playing tricks on him now of all times.

Why did it have to show him Phil?

"GO AWAY!" Tears welled up in his eyes as he screamed at his haunting brain.

"Dan..."

"NO! GO! I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU STOP ME!" Hands became fists - his mind growing louder and faster as  conflicting thoughts flew around with no remorse.

Phil took a careful step forwards. "Dan, why are you here?"

"What does it look like? I'm having a tea party with my brain. And you're not invited. Fuck off."

Ignoring his request, Phil took another slow step forwards, holding his hands out in an attempt to calm Dan. "I'm here, I'm real. It's okay. You're okay, just step down from there. It's fine. I'm going to fix you up and you'll get better again and we can put this behind us, doesn't that sound good? You can be happy again."

"I don't want to be happy, I want to die."

"Dan, you're not thinking straight." Phil's voice was quiet as he struggled to keep it steady. He hated seeing Dan like this - and it was worse than ever - scared, defensive, empty eyes.

"Fine! You want me to come down?! Catch me then." Dan said, before stepping off the wall.