Prompted Shorties

Two Stories

Prompt: J.M. Barrie once wrote, "The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it."

Writing as yourself or as a fictional character, reflect upon how your life so far compares to what you intended to make of it.

Story:

I tried not getting too serious about the prompt but I just can't help it, so I'll just share my internal thoughts.

I am one of those people who's got no plans in their life. I'm the "happy go lucky" or "go with the flow" kind of guy. But the luck or the flow wasn't too forgiving, even though I know a lot of people have it way worse than me.

I always felt grounded at the four corners of my home when I was a kid and having no actual neighbors didn't help with my upbringing as a kid who just wanted to have fun. I only meet people my age during school, but school was more of learning than the actual "peer to peer" engagement that I was hoping for.

Though, I admit, I did HAD friends throughout my grade school and high school, but, we just drifted too much apart that we don't even bother to actually make effort to see each other after graduation. Plans were made, stories were shared, words have been said, but at the end of the day, we just forget about it. It was both a hit and a miss. They moved on. I didn't. I was left behind.

Growing up without knowing the actual definition of friends led me to a dark spiral abyss of depression growing up, thinking I wasn't good enough of a friend, or that they don't deserve me, yatta yatta. That's why I always considered them as acquaintances rather than friends.

It didn't helped.

But you know what did? Writing.

I fully explored writing when I was in college. It was my output of emotions, my safe haven, my secret keeper of my deepest wishes and desires. Writing stories was my escape, my happiness and also my sadness.

College was the same, in terms of friendship. I didn't made any that didn't lasted more than two years. It was like grade school and high school all over again. Five people graduating college in the same course doesn't seem much does it? But to me, it was all I had, then it all went away after graduation. The four of them have their own lives to worry about and we started to drift apart. That's when I thought that, I should do the same.

I still look at their updates on facebook every once in a while. One is building an empire by being an entrepreneur, one is also doing the same but also has a job, one just had a baby last year and now lives a few miles away from the group with her not yet husband, and the other one is now concentrating on leaving her current job and find a new one.

My outlook on my course that I took in college wasn't the one I imagined it to be, because again, I don't have my life all planned out, even in just a general sense. It was what my dad wanted, and now that I did what he told me to do, graduated and all. After that I was like "now what?".

Get a job was step one I assumed, but what next?

I live with my parents, with my mom that started undergoing dialysis during 2014 and my dad that's practicing his profession and my little sister who's just starting college this August. I mean, something like that happening to my mom could happen to anyone, but, I just thought, why her?

I hate my job, every bit of it, but I'm too afraid of resigning because I got this job "interview free". Kinda. They were really looking for someone, and when they saw me they were practically like, "yeah sure".

I'm shy, I don't know how to communicate with other people "normally", I'm a gay person who's not out yet to his parents, I don't know if someone will ever love me as a person and I'm overweight.

So...

Yeah. That's me, or at least, just a gist of it.