Unconsciously Mine

Chapter - 11

My eyes responds to the ray of light peeking through the curtains. The light which my life is unaware of yet its existence matter so much to the world. I could not muster the strength to raise my head. The images of yesterday kept flashing before my eyes. His voice started to haunt me in broad daylight. How am I suppose to face him ?

The phone started to ring and his ID flashed , I do not wish to speak to him but I need to end this or i'll lose my sanity. I cannot walk with a blame of a fault that  never belonged to me. I cannot be submissive to a man whose obsession could end us both grasping for air. I took a deep breath as I spoke to him.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Look I know that I was wrong and I am really sorry about yesterday. I did not mean to hurt you. I just lost all of my control and I am guilty about it. Please do not turn your back to me. We are best friends and we will always be. You won't leave me, will you ?"

There was a long silence on the other end as if waiting for my response. Best friends , huh, yeah we are , friends who try to destroy each other. Leave you ? What's left to stay anyway ? You yourself ended every emotion I ever had for you. Sympathy, Love , nope , you did not leave anything in this friendship to work anymore. Your apology seemed more like a fear loosing a war. Our paths divided, our hearts turned stone cold.

"Yeah, I won't leave you."

Before he could utter another word, I disconnected the call. I don't want to hear his voice nor see his face. His apology just added fuel to my anger but I cannot wish him ill cause that's just not me. He was the person we are always warned about. But I was blind to the reality, I saw what he wanted me to see.

I tied my hair in a bun as I splashed water on my face , washing the remnants of yesterday.

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I wish to speak to him, no matter what I'll always run back to my love. For his advice is what I trust. He speaks for he knows what is best for me better than I'll ever think for my own self. 

It took me a lot of what if's with own self and a lot more of courage to lay them before him. My throat parched and my hands sweaty , I waited for a response to the seen message. O Lord may it be something I am able to finish off my plate. He started typing and I became pale as if all the air has been sucked out of me.

"Do you wish to stay with him or have any connections ?"

"No"

"Do you feel anything for him ? Think and be true to yourself. Do you ?"

"No."

"I won't ask you to do anything. Always remember girl, when you're surrounded by darkness, only your light will be your savior. So shine as bright as you can. A person who never respected your presence will never be able to defend your absence. You need nobody. You are your own happiness then why let someone take that away from you ?"

I could feel my shirt getting heavier with emotions swaying through my eyes. It's like the weight was suddenly lifted from my chest and I could feel my heart beaming with pride and respect for this person. O' boy How I wish I could hug you.

"I am sorry for what he said about you."

"I don't care about what he says. I know about myself and someone's wrong intuitions do not affect me."

The reason why I come back running to him , the reason why I love the pain that is served with him, the reason that was standing right there. O' boy lead the way and I'll walk down the thorny path again and again for you.

"I love you, I do for everything."

"I'll always be there for you girl. Take care."

That conversation made me realize that time is not something what matters, it's the person you put your trust in. A person you met a few weeks ago can have better intentions for you than the person you met a few years ago. 

And now that I know my decision, I need to end it now and forever.

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 Love,

Rida Mushtaq