Unconsciously Mine

Chapter - 13

Everything has an end , even love. The one thing that never ends is jealousy, the hatred we share for another person because the worse of things never leave you soon until you run out of blood and air. And so was the case with my so called "best friend" and as he claimed to be - "A true lover". You know more about a person when he tastes defeat and that's what happened with him. He did a terrible thing or was it his foolishness , can't say anything about it. My once best friend tried slut-shamming me. According to his theory I can never posses the quality of loving someone as I act the same with everyone, I'm not the one I pretend to be. I flirt with his friends even after he warned me about his character. Oh my well wisher  how beautifully you crafted a lie and sold it to those friends who know me better in every possible way than you ever will. Yes he was at loss. 

We are idiots to believe that spending ample amount of time with a particular person enable us to read every page of the story he ever had laid his prints on and in the long run forget about the fact that every person has some chapters we will never be able to touch or read. I thought I know him too well and yes my strong misconceptions betrayed me in the best possible way. I tried forgiving him, heck I almost did but I think that it isn't happening anymore. What he did was shameful, disgraceful and the worst revenge anyone can ever think of.  After all that has ever happened and this filthy act, you'll never have my forgiveness. You have not only lost me but also stained your own character in the puddle of your negativity.

You use to tell me that I need a good clearance from every negativity I uphold. Guess the only negativity in my life was you and now that you no longer belong in my story I think I'll have a better plot than I had previously. I did not gain and lose anything from your worthless story, the blames, the act of gaining sympathy or the villain you tried portraying me as and so everything you've ever done or your future deeds matters the least to me, or should I say doesn't matter at all to me. I've grown out of your cell and I ain't returning back to it. My apology ? About what ? For a crime I didn't commit ? Forget abut the apology my dear, you won't even be served with my forgiveness. I pray for mercy for your next victim and I pray healing for all the past girls you've toyed with. Last but not the least, I wish that our paths never cross and your shadow fails to cast it's darkness upon my soul. I bid goodbye to all your remnants.

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It''s been a couple few months past the tragic incident but my soul now breathes a different air, it wears a different set of pairs as it walks to a different and a brighter destination. These past few months were hard on me and so was my struggle to heal but as the saying ends 'Every struggle has it's own fruits'. Yes it does and I'm rejoicing the taste of the new meal I was blessed with. It seems that all my struggles, the pain, the hardwork did pay off. 

I was a proud little girl in my proud little world thinking about all the places I could've been.

And now with wind in my sails, with hurdles so rare, I let my scars be seen.  

All the failing clues matters to few,

For failure doesn't darken the room where success had once been.

My feet lifts up to the toss for all the triumphs over 'you cannot' cause I have, over all the disagreements, the discouragements and all the unsatisfied relations. My high school came to end and so did my misconceptions about life. I realized that I'm blessed with a few people that actually cared about the road I took. I wasn't leaving this phase of life with the bad remembrance from the past but some good times and some great victories in my hand. I was walking to a different phase of life with these few but precious souls. I am grateful for all your support, for being who you truly are, for blending in my colors and making me realize how beautiful our collage looks in the frame.  

I walked out of this phase with 'HIM' , the hand mile apart but the right guidance to my journey. How will I ever let go of you when even imagining a second without you feels like a hundred years in a cage of miserable pain. 

You'll always be alive in me as me.

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Love,

Rida Mushtaq.