The Dark Knight Of The Soul

Chapter Eleven

Ellie pulled up in the car at 10:30am. I was eager to see her, I really enjoyed our chats, it was such a welcome change to talk to someone who could not only understand my handicaps, but also appreciate the fact that I too was a professional and was able to discuss current issues intellectually. I could never have this with Harrison, he just mocked me, or brushed my opinions aside. Ellie didn't do that and it was a heavenly blessing meeting her once a week. She pulled up and I waved to her from the window, I did my house checks ticking off all the boxes and then left the house, locking my front door behind me. I stepped into the car and Ellie smiled brightly.

"How are you feeling," she asked as I sat down, pulling on my seat belt. "Ok now," I replied, my racing heart was calming as I took a couple of deep breathes. "I did my checks just once today," I replied smiling. Ellie's face changed to a look of surprise and glee.

"Wow that's brilliant. I was going to ask how the chart was going, see if it needed tweaking. Are you finding it helpful?"

"Yes, it's clear evidence to me that I have ticked off every box. Last week I used it and checked everywhere, but when Harrison came home he insisted that I left the en suite window open." I leaned across to look up at the front of my house. "All the front windows are definitely closed," Ellie looked up and confirmed to me that I had closed all of them.

"Do you want me to check over the back to see if they're closed too?"

"I haven't opened any of them. But its not a bad idea, at least then if something is left open, I know for sure, I'm not the one going mad?" I replied.

Ellie unbuckled her seat belt. "I don't think you're going mad," she said sincerely as she stepped out of the car. There was a wide driveway at the side of my house and Ellie walked up the driveway and out of my sight. She walked back towards the car smiling, I guessed this was a positive sign. As she climbed back into the car she smiled, "Everything is closed." she said reassuringly. My body relaxed as Ellie buckled her seat belt and started the car.

"Did I mention to you about my strange dreams?" I said quizzingly when Ellie pulled up at some traffic lights.

"No you haven't told me about them, do you want to share it with me,?" she asked softly.

"Well, they don't relate to what happened six months ago, but they're really strange. I can't make any sense of them. Maybe if I share it, I'll find an answer?"

Ellie smiled and nodded, "I'm driving but I am listening." She replied gently.

"Well, the first one I was running through the forest with my husband, we were running from something and we were scared. There was a box and Harrison told me to get in so we could hide, then he puts the lid on when I'm inside and I start screaming out his name, I wake in a panic. The next dream was a little girl, she was calling for me, I made my way downstairs and I searched frantically in the kitchen to get a key to open the door, then a monster appears and frightens the life out of me and I wake up. The next dream, it's the forest again and the little girl calling me. I finally find her and we are transported back to my childhood, a memory of when my dad left? The last dream I had I walked downstairs and we had a basement, I made my way down the basement, then the monster was there, I wasn't afraid at first and he appears to be friendly, rubbing against my leg, but then I could sense that he was going to get aggressive and suddenly he turned on me and leapt up to devour me, I woke in a blind panic then."

Ellie pulled up outside the community centre as I finished explaining my dream, she turned to face me and looked deep in thought. "What did it mean to you. Because everybody's interpretation of their dreams is different and personal to them."

"I wrote them down, but I'm not making much sense of them. Would the forest mean something specific?" I asked.

Ellie nodded slightly, "I suppose it would, like the forest being your mind or your unconscious. The house, well from what I know about Jungian psychology, the house represents you, so the basement would be buried traumas maybe. The little girl could be your inner child or animus. When we dream of women or our own sex, it's really about yourself. This is the anima or the Animus. Male and female energy, or signature traits of those specific genders."