When Love Bites

20 More Trouble in Paradise III

Chapter 20  More Trouble in Paradise III

I saw Avi's text before I fell into bed. I had no idea what that actually meant. I called him, but it went straight to voicemail. I set my alarm for the time I would need to get up to go pick Avi up from the airport and crashed out.

I got home and went straight to the room. Lizzie was still asleep on our bed still dressed from her night out. I stood in the doorway and watched her. Sure I was mad, very mad. I didn't know why, no I knew why, But I didn't know how to address the issue without sounding like an untrusting jealous freak. I didn't trust those two with her and I couldn't explain that to myself, there was no way I was going to be able to explain it to her. But it is quite a bit alarming when your ex-girlfriend texts you a ton of pictures of your girlfriend out with her guy friends when you're out of town and leads with "Is this supposed to be YOUR girlfriend or theirs?" I stood there and struggled to curtain my anger. I was there when her alarm went off.

My alarm went off and I groaned. Why had I slept in my clothes? I smiled at the thought of going to pick Avi up from the airport and then remembered his text. I frowned and sat up and stretched. I was startled to see him standing in the doorway. "Did I have your flight information wrong?"

"No." I crossed my arms over my chest. I really didn't know what to do.

I was really confused. I rubbed my eyes and started stripping out of my clothes. "I'm happy to see you, but why are you here already?"

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them, "I live here, with you. We are dating. You do remember that don't you?"

His tone was cold and hard. "Yes, I do. What is wrong?"

"I don't even know where to start or how to actually approach this or how to deal with all these feelings that are floating around inside me right now. I don't even have names for some of them. I don't want to come off as an untrusting, jealous jackass, but I probably will. And I just might be a jealous jackass. What did you do last night while I was out of town?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Spying on me?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "I went out to dinner and to a club with friends. I recall you did the same not too long ago."

"No, I am not spying on you. Why the hell would I do that? Should I? So is this tit for tat then? I message you and go out with one friend, one friend that you know and knows her boundaries with me and keeps you in mind all the time and you turn around and go out with not one but two men that are not known to me and have no fucking clue what is appropriate friend touching and what is not. What surprises me is that you are okay with it. You must not know. That has to be it. It must not seem inappropriate to you. Your own brothers would never touch you that way. I would never touch my sister that way. Here, if we are ever gonna be public, pictures like these cannot happen. They just can't, they shouldn't anyway. Are we really gonna dance this dance then?"

"Pictures like what? I don't recall anything inappropriate. I didn't do anything different than I would have if I had been out with girlfriends. Besides, I thought it didn't matter what onlookers thought. We know what we are."

If I managed to be cool at all I completely lost it. "I don't give two flying fucks about onlookers and you damn well know it. If I am to be yours and you are to be mine then boundaries for others need to be set. You would flip your fucking lid if Marisa ever touched me like that, or if she ever got caught looking at me that way. This way right here, every one of those pictures sends all of the wrong messages, especially to me." I handed her my phone though I really wanted to throw it against the wall. "If your brothers wouldn't put their hands on you that way then these men you call brothers sure as fuck shouldn't either and YES the same damn thing goes for me too! I don't want to be touched that way by anyone but you. Do you even understand what a public image is? I do have to care about that. It is how I get paid. I'm supposed to be nice, like all the damn time. I don't get to be mad, I don't get to be hurt, or scared or anything, just happy and sweet and innocent and nice. That's my fault, but still. Jesus Christ Lizette will you look at those pictures and put the shoe on the other foot. If some girl you didn't know, hell if one you did and trusted with your life, put their hands on me that way, how would you feel? This is all feeling. I know better, but that doesn't change my feelings at all. I leaving this room before I get even stupider."

He turned and left the room leaving me with his phone. I scrolled through the pictures. Someone was spying on me. Some of the pictures looked more incriminating than they actually were based on the angle. A few were kind of bad, but not the worst I had ever seen. They were all taken while we were dancing. I headed in the direction he had gone and I found him in the kitchen standing over the sink shaking. "I'm sorry someone felt the need to send these to you. Most of them are more innocent than they look. I am guessing it's someone with a photography background that knows how to exploit angles. In the first 3, there are no hands on my body. A couple of them, yes, are a little touchier than they should be and I will be more careful in the future." I set his phone on the counter. "It really was an innocent evening. None of us even drank at all."

"I can't talk about this right now. I can't decide if it's good that you didn't drink or not. I'm trying to get a grip on my feelings here it's not working and you can't help me, and that little explanation, dismissal, and accusation sure didn't help at all. You always dismiss it, I think I do it too. It doesn't help. I will never believe that they are innocent or that it is all innocent to them. You definitely, them. NEVER. That is likely precisely the way you feel about Aleen. So yeah I get it. Are you trying to break me? Am I going to have to walk on eggshells fearing that I will forget something important to you or not understand and you'll retaliate in some fashion that just rocks our boat? Why? Why would you even go out with them again after the hell we went through the last time? Drunk or not. Ugh, I'm so confused, frustrated, hurt and upset, jealous. Yeah, that too. I was out of town, Lizzie. You didn't even message, AGAIN. That is twice now you went out with guys I don't even want to know at this point and didn't even bother with disclosing that. You can expect me to fuck up and not relay something important like that, but you are always on point with communication. So it doesn't make any damn sense to me. You didn't have to call. I was working, but you sure as hell could have sent a message and don't you dare say now you know how it feels. That's bullshit, my own mother complains about my lack of return texts and communication. I'm going to the bathroom, please don't follow me. I'll come out when I can think straight enough to talk to you properly instead of like this. I love you." I touched her arm gently. I was mad as hell but that mad didn't even begin to cover the love I felt.

"I love you too." I didn't say another word as he passed me. I waited until I heard the bathroom door shut to enter the bedroom to put my pajamas on. I was currently half dressed. I retrieved my phone and settled myself on the couch and waited. I was not about to be talked to like I was a child, and he couldn't forbid me to see anyone.

I took a shower and changed and tried to assess if I was even being rational or not. I was but I wasn't. This was not going to go away. We were both too stubborn for that. Guy friends. They looked like they were waiting for me to slip or Lizzie to have a moment of weakness or to catch her when she was vulnerable and take advantage of her. Not so long ago I was that guy, you know the one waiting to soothe the damsel in distress' aches and woes in a not so feel good later kind of way. I didn't know which was which, but one of them sure had that look, the other looked like he'd stand by and watch it all play out and offer the same comfort when the other crushed her. Nope. I was still mad when I got out of the shower. I went to the kitchen to find some food. "Hungry?"