Lies ‣‣ Soonhoon

9

Jihoon's POV

I love you

Lie number 9.

Of all the lies I've known and believed, this is probably the worst one.

3 words, 8 letters. That's all it takes for someone to fall under the biggest trap ever. "I love you" could make a person feel really happy and special; but sometimes it's only until the beginning. Things would eventually change and that "I love you" could be changed into "I don't love you anymore".

With three simple words, it could be one's destruction. At first you'd be overflowing with happiness, and you are so blinded by it that you forget to notice how this happiness could turn into sadness.

Love makes a person do anything. I think this is why others choose to stay and keep loving their partner even when it hurts. Love isn't a joke; once you are caught by it, you'll have to bear with the pain it comes with.

I don't fully know what it means to love.

I often told myself about how "loving yourself first is far more important than loving others; because how can you love others if you don't even love yourself?"

It starts within. Self love. It's important, but sometimes people don't see it's importance. Why? Because some people gives all their love to a certain person without the assurance that the love they gave would come back.

When you give all your love to the wrong person, it'll destroy you. Again, why? Because you gave everything and you didn't leave some for yourself so in the end, when the love you gave gets wasted, you would feel like there isn't any reason to go on, or maybe feel like something is missing.

Love comes in different types; in different situations. Love can fool you and love can pretend to be something else. It's unexpected; that's why when you truly love a person, there isn't any escape to that. Maybe you can let him/her go, but memories of you and him/her would forever remain, unless you're determined to remove them.

They say love is complicated.

I don't really remember loving someone so much, so I don't think I could prove this statement right. In my opinion though, I would agree. Love shows in different forms, love can make you feel ecstatic in different ways; and on the contradictory, love will also have a way to make you feel heartbroken. Love can show you many things; it could even be an illusion for some. Love cannot be explained like it's something simple. There is much more to love that everyone isn't probably aware of. Maybe there are different meanings of love, but that won't mean that's basically what it is to love. You can describe love in thousands and millions of adjectives, but none of those would actually describe how it feels inside. I don't think I'm making sense, but for some reason, I feel like describing the feeling of love is way different than the usual. They say love is joy or that love hurts. Those are just mere descriptions our minds and hearts could get. I mean, I know there's something beyond. There's something deeper to that, but I can't just point it out. Well I guess love really is complicated.

Love makes you experience things you've never imagined. It can make you do things you didn't know you were capable of. It also makes you feel a lot of things all in one moment. That's how powerful love is.

I don't want to admit or say this, but I think I may or may not have fallen for a guy. That guy is actually my bestfriend.

It's Soonyoung.

It's been a while since we saw each other and if it wasn't for yesterday in the park, we could've never met again.

Truthfully, I had some happy feeling that time. When I said I felt apprehensive and conflicted, along those was that bouyant feeling and some hope. My feelings were mixed up together during that time. This is why I say love makes you feel different emotions or feelings all at once.

I was glad to see him again, but I could sense that he wasn't feeling the same. I knew he didn't want to see me; it looked like it.

The emotions I've forgotten to feel came back when I saw him.

And one that was present was love. Well isn't love the summarization of everything? Because love can be described with so many things, and the way I felt when I saw him was described with a lot of adjectives that sum up to one concept: love.

Everything I felt that time was something love showed me. It just proves how I really am in love.

At first I was doubting. I told myself I was a boy, and that I shouldn't fall for the same gender as me. But when love strucks, it captures you.

He was my euphoria. My everything. But that was in the past.

I got hurt and I learned to be stronger because of the painful experiences before. The time he left my side, the times he forgot I was there, the times he would laugh and enjoy his time with someone else that isn't me, everything; it distressed me.

Maybe I did love him.

Is that love still present though?

I could still feel different emotions when I see him, but I don't want to think it's because of love. That's some stupid sht. Love contains some absurdity in it, for me; and I'm not falling in love ever again.

Noteee
Alright this is gonna end yay

This is the last lie btw so like ye

But I'm planning to write more and this time in Soonyoung's POV :>>

OH AND I LOVE THE SONG "Love Someone" by Lucas Graham HAHAHA I RECOMMEND IT YAY