Jihoon's POV
It will get better
Lie number 6.
Better? Nothing gets better. As I said before, I once believed it was going to get better; but it never actually did. It only gets worse.
I'm afraid to be happy.
I'm afraid because I know it's temporary. I have this feeling that once I become happy, something painful would come. The pain is like my payment for the happiness I recieved. It was always like that; happiness= pain. Now I'm afraid to be happy because of this belief. I don't really care if I can't be happy. It's not like I wanted to be anyway.
It will get better..?
Better.. Is crying everyday a sign of "better"?
Is cutting myself every now and then the meaning of "better"?
Is sitting alone in the corner of my dark room without anyone knowing how hurt I am something along the lines of "better"?
Is staying up all night while thoughts of me dying something "better"?
Is not eating properly everyday a sign of getting "better"?
Tell me which of those is "better". I don't think any of those are.
I have this routine everyday.
Crying and cutting everyday.
I got used to it. And I won't bother changing it.
And again, I don't think that's something "better".
Why should I change for the better if nothing gets better? Why bother right?
I have a plan.. 365 days.. That's all I got.. Before I can finally
Leave
This world.
Noteee
So uh
Idk what this is
Somebody save me
I hate life sigh
YOU ARE READING
Lies ‣‣ Soonhoon
FanficHere is a book where all the lies Jihoon has heard have been revealed. Those lies all came from the same person, Kwon Soonyoung. A/n I don't know what this is 😁 I just made it because I felt like it? I don't even know anymoreeeee.. If anyone reads...
