no longer

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by ultsdowoo

by ultsdowoo

━═━═━═━┤ ELEVEN├━═━═━═━

song recommendation: no longer - nct 127

"That is so thoughtful. Taeyong, I really owe you." I start to cry after thinking about how grateful I am for him. "Thank you so much. How can I ever repay you?"

"Burn my sketchbook." Taeyong pulls away from me. His eyes like cold stone.

"Tae... I can't do that... You'll reset."

A bitter laugh escapes him. "I know. I want to reset." He grits his teeth, his jaw clenching. "I want to be as far away from Jung Jaehyun as I can be."

"Tae-"

"Hey, maybe I can start up that art club I dream of? Be the next Picasso?" He ruffles my hair, winking and trying to lighten up the situation. Sighing, he pulls the sketchbook from his shoulder bag. "Please Jungwoo."

I stare at the sketchbook in his hands. The pages are crumpled and ripped at the corners. My heart aches as I take the book into my own hands. Running my fingers over the smooth cover and then down the spine. Taeyong nods at me. I open the book, flipping through the torn pages. Black ink and paint splatters fill the blankness, twisting into stories and memories. One sketch makes me inhale sharply.

A bridge. The bridge. Small, dim lights only just revealing a couple intertwined with each other. A dark haired boy with his arms wrapped around a smaller blondie. But there is something wrong with the latter. It is as if he was dissolving. And underneath the water damage of the page, a dark figure stood, radiating blood red.

The image makes my lungs burn, as if I was drowning.

"If this is what you really want Taeyong, then I'll do it." Closing the book, I make up my mind. Taeyong helped me remember and now I must help him forget.

"Can you give this to Jaehyun?" Taeyong has a soft smile on his face. He retrieves a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolding it. The page is titled 'dream boy' and scattered with sketches of Jaehyun on it. On the back, messy handwriting, smudged and barely readable. In Taeyong's left hand is his lighter.

I swallow hard, taking both items from him. "It's better off this way, Jungwoo." His eyes radiate contentment as I flick the lighter. It's small orange flame lighting up Taeyong's pleasant face. I light the corner of the sketchbook.

Taeyong looks peaceful. Even whilst disintegrating, he's smiling, whilst I'm crying. "Thank you, Jungwoo."

The sketchbook a smouldering heap, next to Taeyong's scattered ashes.