We went over several topics before I had to leave, covering all of the basics of 'treatment' although there were really none at all. Niall explained to me that depression isn't just a phase or a choice.. It just kinda shows up, battling people to their hardest points; death.
There was something about Niall pushing me to believe that he's more than the tough skin that everyone sees.. But that he was hiding a weaker point about himself away from public. And I could tell that he was hurting. Very badly. And for some odd reason, it also hurt me.
.....
The next morning was the same old ritual.. Getting ready, going to school.. The basics. But the thing was, I didn't see Niall. I managed to sneak around before school started to try to find him so that we could talk. But I couldn't find him.
.....
I get to first hour, hoping that Niall would be there. He wasn't, though. I was kind of worried as to why he hadn't shown up, but I just shook it off as that he was absent due to sickness.
I sat at my desk, bored out of my mind that whole hour, also worried about Niall for some random reason. There was about 10 minutes left of class when I heard the door creak open in the back of the room. It was Niall. I honesly felt relieved knowing that he was okay.. But why was he late? Oh well.
.....
It was lunchtime when I finally had the chance to speak to him. He was quiet and distant from me all day. It honestly upsetted me. But I had the nerve to talk to him anyway.
I sat down across from and smiled at him. He just ignored it and looked over at the principal in the corner of the huge room.
"Hey, Niall.."
"Oh. Hey." He says.
"Whatcha eating?" I say, trying to make conversation.
He shakes his head, taking a bite of his speghetti. "This isn't about what I'm eating, Bailie.. Why did you really come over here to talk to me?"
"Well.. I mean, am I allowed to talk to you? Y'know, friend to friend?" I say, with a nervous laugh.
"We're friends?" He quickly looks up at me.
"Well, yeah.. Unless, you don't want to be.. Then no."
He shakes his head again, frowning at me. "Bailie, I don't think you get it.. A girl like you, shouldn't be friends with a guy like me.. It's unfair."
I furrow my eyebrows at his words. "What do you mean 'a girl like me and a guy like you'? We're both human.." I say, crossing my arms.
"You just don't understand.. I'm not trying to offend you by saying we're different.. I'm just trying to tell you that you wouldn't be able to handle having me as a friend. I'm sorry." And with that, he got up and left the table.
I just sat there, confused of what he meant. I honestly didn't see much difference between the two of us. Sure, he was from out of the country, he's got some personal issues, but I wouldn't of thought that that would change things between him and I.
