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Months passed and my days returned to normal. Somewhat. Fearing for my spark, Primus appointed Mardart, the God of...I don't even remember anymore. I didn't even care. I just knew that every night, he was there in my berth with me. To 'comfort' me and 'put my spark at ease' he told me. But no matter what, nothing could dull the constant pain that cut through my spark-chamber every...single...day. I could still feel Optimus' body. His warmth, his human lips against mine. His hand on my back, the way he captivated me with his beautiful sky-blue optics. Quickly I shook myself out of my thoughts and left a wraith again to complete my work. I couldn't concentrate, not with Optimus plaguing my processors...again. Mardart was waiting for me when I stepped through the doors of my berth-room. He wrapped his arms aroumd my waist and pulled me close to his broad chest-plate, bringing his dermas to my neck-cables. "Mardart, not now," I sighed, putting my servos on his chest-plate and pushing him away,"I need some time alone." "Very well, Chardirakii," Mardart replied, then let go and left my berth-room, shutting the door behind me. I stood there for a minute, then covered my face-plates with my servos and heaved a huge sigh. Once I pulled my servos away I saw the thin, barely noticeable cracks starting to form along my armor. I was beginning to shatter. Screams reached my audio receptors, but they no longer brought me satisfaction and pleasure. I marched over to the open window and slammed it shut, rattling the panes. Then I stood in front of my berth and crossed my arms over my chest-plate. Suddenly I felt my wraith behind me. "Yes?" I asked, not turning around. "A spark has arrived, Mistress," it whispered in my helm. "And?" I asked, thinking this not too unusual. "It is not on your list of those to be punished," the wraith replied. I sighed and rubbed between my optics,"Bring it here, let me see to him...or her. Whoever the frag it is." The wraith disappeared at once. I sighed again. This was too much. Too much. Maybe I shouldn't have told Mardart to leave. The doors to my room opened again and I heard somebody enter. "Designation," I stated. Two servos ran touched my shoulder-plates and ran down my arms to my elbows and I felt my spark leap to my throat. I knew this touch. This presence. "Hello, Chardirakii," a soft baritone voice said. My breath hitched in my respiratory system, and I was half-afraid to turn around. But when I did, it was him. It was truly him. "Optimus?" I asked, my optics wide,"But...how? What are you doing here? Here? Out of all places?" "I asked Primus if I could visit you," Optimus replied, then smiled,"I missed you." I stepped away, sudden realization coming as a slap to the face-plates,"If...you are here...then that means you must be..." "Dead? Yes, I am," Optimus replied. I was at a loss for words. This was all so sudden, so soon. "H-how?" I managed to croak. Optimus sighed,"Megatron discovered the location of our base...and destroyed it. I remained behind to ensure my comrades made it safely through the ground-bridge." "But who will lead your team now?" I asked. "Smokescreen shall," Optimus replied, then stepped closer,"Chardirakii, don't you realize what this means?" "Optimus..." I whispered, but he grabbed my arms again, his blue optics earnest. "We can be together again, Chardirakii," he said,"Forever. You don't have to worry about hurting me anymore." I shook my helm, tears springing into my optics,"N-no. I...I never wanted this to happen. Least of all to you." I turned away and covered my face-plates again,"Of all the mechs...why you? Why?" Optimus wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and hugged me as the tears started to fall. "I thought this is what you wanted," he said. I whirled around, hot, angry tears streaming down my cheeks,"WHY THE FRAG WOULD I WANT YOU DEAD!?!?" Optimus pressed a digit to my dermas, then lightly caressed under my jaw. His optics also held sadness. "Why not?" he asked. I took in a shaky breath, then replied,"Because I love you, you dumbaft!" With that I grabbed his helm with both my servos and kissed him hard. I didn't even care if this was breaking protocol. I loved Optimus, and nothing could ever bring me to part with him again. Optimus took a step back in shock, then he closed his optics and kissed me back, wrapping both arms around my waist and pulling me closer. Even though we were as close as we could already get, I still arched my entire frame against the Prime, feeling him, letting his dermas take me far far away into a land of joy and bliss. Suddenly Optimus breathed in sharply and let go of me. "What's wrong?" I asked worriedly. Optimus looked down at himself, then touched his chest-plate,"I-I don't kno-aaarrggh!!" He collapsed and I immediately caught him, laying him down gently on the floor. "I-it's my spark," Optimus groaned. "Let me see," I ordered, touching his chest-plate. Optimus opened his spark-chamber and I could see the glowing spark flickering rapidly. "What is it?" Optimus asked, noticing my downfallen expression. "You...are returning to the land of the living," I replied, then my shoulder-plates slumped. "How?" Optimus asked. "I don't know!" I shouted, then immediately regretted it,"Sorry. But you only just got here." Optimus closed his spark-chamber, then grabbed my arm and tugged on it. I sighed, then lay down on top of him. Optimus clasped both servos on my waist and held me to him. "Chardirakii, if I am truly returning to life...returning to Earth...will you come back with me? To stay?" he asked. I looked into those imploring, blue optics, then bit back a sob and nodded, smiling. "Yes, Optimus, I'll go back with you," I replied. Optimus smiled, his optics beginning to flicker. Quickly I shifted forwards a little more and kissed him, wanting to feel his dermas one more time before we both left for Earth. Optimus' chest-plate rose and fell...then I felt his final breath released on my dermas, and knew he was gone. I sat up, then stood and watched Optimus' frame turn to dust. The familiar ache was starting to return, but now I knew where I wanted to go, with whom I belonged with. Mardart came in again,"Milady, are you...?" "You are dismissed from my entire realm forever, Mardart," I interrupted, walking past him,"You will not find me here again." "Where are you going?" Mardart asked me. "To see Primus," was my only reply. The second I stepped outside I turned into five magenta balls of light and zoomed straight to the Hall of the Allspark, where I knew Primus was bound to be. I burst into the middle of another meeting and reappeared. "Chardirakii, what is-"Primus began, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him away. "I have to talk to you, now," I said. Primus let me drag him all the way to the gardens, then we stopped. "Chardirakii, we've been talking-" Primus began but once again I interrupted him. "I want to go back to Earth." Primus raised an optic ridge,"Oh, and what brought this about?" I fiddled with my digits, then replied,"Sire...I've decided that I can no longer deal with my pain, and I've realized you were correct from the beginning. Love is the only thing that can save me, and I love...Optimus Prime." "That's just the thing though," Primus replied, rubbing the back of his helm,"Recently Optimus had joined us, and we were discussing sending you to Megatron instead." I laughed sparklessly,"Oh, sire. Optimus has returned to life, as you can probably sense at this moment." Primus seemed to pause...then smiled and nodded. "Very true, my dear. Well then, I shall keep you from your love no longer, be safe, tell me if I become a grand-sire will you?" he said with a suggestive wink. I laughed too, then hugged him,"Thank you, sire." Primus kissed the top of my helm and I was flying through dimensions again. I was heading for Optimus Prime. At last. My aching spark now beat with pure joy.
