My Littlespace a book about me

Part 24- How To Help Your Little Get Into Little Space

1.) Accept that little space is a mindset, so it might not appear the minute you want. Some days it's harder, some days it's easier. The more you learn about your partner, the more successful you'll be in understanding their little space tendencies

2.) No one, and i mean no one has the exact same little space, understand that. But i'm talking generalities, and that means being dominant, powerful, confident, caring, sweet...those are good ways to help. But the real trick is to accept that no one has the same exact experience, and to tailor your actions and behaviors towards your partner's needs and desires.

3.) Treat them little. Yeah, i know, obvious, but please let me explain. They might kind of doubt themselves, they might struggle to feel little, they might be scared. Being accepted, open, using words like "little one" and offering to help them get dressed,  opening doors for them,  fetching their stuffies when they're sad,etc...those help

4.) Be honest about your caregiving side. Faking it makes it obviously bad.

5.) Use the tools you have. Stuffies, pacifier, diapers, special clothes,  cartoons, coloring? USE THEM. Using tangible objects HELPS your little recognize their needs and desires. And it shows them you understand, are playing along, actively invested, and happy.

6.) Speaking of tools...why not set it up FOR your little. When you want to help them be little, ask if they want to draw you a picture, and be excited, SHOW your interest. Let them sink into the mindset because it SHOWS how much you are supporting them, caring for them, understanding their need.

7.) TREAD LIGHTLY. Once your little starts to show you their little side, it's easy to make a small mistake that has nasty side effects. Forgetting to treat them little, making them feel dumb, making them refuse to show you their little side because of negative responses once or twice...it happens. So while you might not think it's always fair, recognize that little space is NOT a fair mindset. It's about them letting go completely, feeling raw, feeling open and emotional, allowing a regression based mindset or a mental space that holds great significance for them...and that means trusting, being open, and probably being more emotional than usual. Respect that.

8.) Never say specific things: "grow up" or "stop being annoying and little" or "i hate when you get super little" 

9.) Rules and structure matter: Bedtime, naps, rules about holding hands, or making sure they pack their stuffies when going on a trip, or bringing a little reminder of their caregiver in their suitcase...those things are amazing. And they reinforce the little's acceptance and feelings of comfort even OUTSIDE of little space. What that does, then, is it helps maybe to bridge that confusing emotional gap between being big and being little. And it is a CONSTANT reminder of the relationship and dynamic that might make them feel more wanted, accepted, understood, and as a direct result...little!

10.) Last but not least, LANGUAGE! That means tone, that means your word choice, your nicknames, how you refer not just to your partner but to yourself...calling someone little one, baby, sweetie, or cute nicknames is great. Them calling you a nickname back and you being able to call YOURSELF that makes them melt.