A FAN [Completed]

Chapter 34

Timeline:After the event at the Mall with Arthit.

Janeeyah POV

I watched P'Arthit trace P'Kongpob's path, searching him. I feel so guilty right now. I feel like I have lost the trust of both of my friends and the friendship that we had for a long long while is slowly slipping away from my hand.I can't help but hope for her happiness as much I as I do for P'Arthit. But deep inside I know it was never her for P'Kongpob. He never looked at her in that way from what she used to tell me. It was always one sided. I wish he would agree to be with her.

......... But a part of me also hopes that P'Kongpob would agree to date P'Arthit.

Why you ask?

Not because I care less for her but because I want to be selfish just once.

Because I love P'Adelia.

Shocking isn't it? I know I have called her my friend ever since we were young. But as a kid That I was, I could never figure out those weird tingling feelings when I was near her. As I grew up I realized it was called Love but I still I think I am too young for that word..... But I want to stay with her forever and ever. I don't know if I am a lesbain or whatsoever. But when I grew to realize that I had feelings for her it was harder to restrain. She was the only person I have loved all of my life and I am too afraid to let her know.

I am scared that she will shut me out. And I fear that she will feel disgusted and betrayed. Come on, I have played the best friend role for her, all her life till now and suddenly if I tell her to be my lover it's only gonna sound like I stabbed her back without her knowing and all the memories we made together would come down crashing to a halting stop.

Our story goes something Iike this:

I was 10 years old when I first met her. We were neighbors. We both had rich parents. But the difference was that I had loving parents while I am not so sure about her parents.

I still vividly remember our first encounter. Her house had a big pond and she used to sit by the bank and stare at space, longingness evident in her expression. Day and day I would watch her, from behind the bush of my house's fence. She would sit like that, staring blankly at the pond, in the same position without moving once.I always was a curious, cheerful and a talkative kid. But for the first time I simply wanted to observe and cherish the moment. I was a year younger to her and it happens that I had to study a year ahead of other kids of my age.. And that was why I got the chance to talk to her and meet her personally instead of hiding and watching her all the time.

She piqued my interest and I was only curious to know her more when I finally got the chance to talk to her. We were home schooled together and got along very well. But I was always aware that something was bothering her.

She never spoke up openly, never smiled openly. Being the 12 year old that she was, she appeared to be cheerful and happy in front of others but that didn't mean she was happy inside too. Like I said, I used to watch her whenever she used to sit by the pond and stared blankly and I still continueed to do so after knowing each other well,simply because I could see her serene, real self.

She seemed to drift away from her family slowly as she grew up. She wasn't an arrogant child or whatever but she turned cold. She smiled lesser and lesser as each day passed. Every time she looked at her father, her mother and her brother, there was this mix of hatred and loneliness in her eyes. Soon, she spent more and more time with me, in order to stay away from her family and that was when I learnt that her mother had divorced with her dad and the now-mother was her step mother and the brother was her step brother.

At first it was surprising because, they although were mentally apart, they seemed to be close to each other but turns out that it was all pretense in front of her dad. Both Adel and her step relations were pretending to be happy together to keep the dad happy..