A FAN [Completed]

Chapter 37

A/N: Ola! This chapter primarily casts Janeeyah and Adel. Feel free to skip to the last part, which has a little bit of Kongpob and Arthit, if you aren't interested in this one. There won't be any plot confusion. But do read the last 'Janeeyah POV' 😅

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Adel POV

I don't know what is that I am doing. I feel numb, mute.....lifeless. At first I was so angry at how sneakily, that bastard Arthit had snatched Kongpob from me. My Kongpob.

After that day at the restaurant, I cried and cried and broke things,out of frustration. I cried until no more tears would come out. The trail of my tears marking their path down my cheeks. I loved him. I loved him so much. Why is it that I am always left alone? Why is it that no one wants me? First it was mom, then dad.... Then my only hope after years, Kongpob. Am I not enough?

Actually scrap that. Why am I not enough? Why is it that that I am never wanted? Had I not been a good daughter? Is that why my mom left me? Should I have been more well mannered and charmer of a girl, as a bribe for her to stay? But.... No one told the 8 year old me, that I should have been so, so she would have noticed and stayed with me. No one ever told me I was bad. Hell! No one had that the time for that. Time For me.

I was just an unimportant trash, all the time. I was too young. I was too young to realize everything that was happening around me. When I really wanted to know what was happening, no one stopped by me, to explain the situation, so that I could understand and adapt accordingly.
.... But at some point... I just didn't want to know... I was too tired. I was too tired of being desperate to be noticed. Too tired of finding love. Too tired of the happy family in front of me, that I once wanted to be part of. Too tired..... Of Being hurt. Too scared to be the receiving end of all the pain, possibly existing on this earth.

Thats when he walked in. I don't exactly remember when I wanted to fall in love,to love someone,to be loved back. Maybe when he saved me from  bullied on the first day of university. Or when he stood up for his friends against the hazers. Or when he gave me a surprise party on my birthday,after 10 years of cutting my birthday cake with my Nanny in my room in the mansion. Whatever it was I loved the feelings he evoked in me. I felt human again. I wanted to feel joy. I wanted to feel assurance. I wanted to renew the feeling of being cared. More than anything, I was ready to hurt myself again, which I knew, traveled parallel to all of these euphoric feelings. I knew there was chance of it being impossible also. But he was worth it. His smile was. His curious eyes were. His everything was worth it. Cause if I had him by my side, I could conquer the world.

..... When I had gotten to know he was a fan of Arthit, I didn't like it. It did not sound nice to my ears. Sure I have been around so many fanboys and fangirls. But the way he said it,irked me. I didn't like the taste it left in my mouth. The love he had for him sounded so promising. Something so pure and unselfish. But never had I ever conjured for it to come true. Never had I ever thought he would stand beside him and against me, looking at me with indescribable pain and disgust on his face. One look on his face, I was rendered speechless.

I had become the person I never wanted to be for him. He always used to look at me with so much pride and happiness. And I did not like the look on his face on that day. I resented it. I was broken. I knew I would never be the same again. I knew WE would be never the same again. Maybe I was wrong for confessing. Maybe my love wasn't worth breaking our friendship. My only warmth after years.

Maybe... I should have not. Maybe I should have listened to Janeeyah. Maybe... I should have just stayed in my cage of a mansion and never explore the outer world. Maybe I should have never chosen to fall in love after all. Yeah.... But I never had the option not to. It just happened. One look at him and I was a goner. I embraced everything that came with him. But he never looked at me that way. I bet never once, has he fancied the idea of me being his girlfriend, his only love.