Done.

19-The day after

After everything that happened this week, don't you think I deserve a break? Wait. Who am I kidding? I don't deserve anything.

I really want to get out of this house, but I know that if I do that, that my dad will kill me. So I just have to stay here. Maybe I should study for the exams and tests I have this week.

I sob and walk to my desk, yes I'm crying. Wouldn't you after a day like this? Wouldn't you just want to fucking jump out of the nearest window?

I grab my school stuff and open my books, I know, I'm studying right after my dad yelled at me. But... If I don't do what he says now, then maybe he'll get mad at me again..

I'm so done with everything. I meant what I said, Daniel is the star of the show and I'm just the child that has to be like him. The lucky bastard moved away.

He's gone to college and left me alone, I know I shouldn't think that selfish, but I had and have no one. Now that Samuel's in the hospital, I have no one again. I'm all alone, again.

I put my head in my hands and cry my eyes out.

What if Jesica didn't leave at all? We'd probably be together here in this room, laughing about something that happened that day.

What if Sam wasn't in the hospital? We would be calling right now, I would be smiling..

What if I was never born? My brother would be the only person in his show that he's staring in. My parents would be happier because they have a child to be proud of. Jesica would be happy, Sam would be happy. My existence is just so pointless..

I can say for a fact that my grades will dramatically drop. Everything I worked for to keep everyone not think about me will be all for nothing. Hiding is too hard. I suck at it.

Maybe I should take a nap. To restore my energy. That'll be something I need to make it till the end of the day.

While I'm still doing my homework I hear someone coming up the stairs, the person opens the door, I don't want to look who it is so I just continue writing.

It's my mom and she walks closer to me and wraps her arms around me from behind. She's clearly feeling guilty. "I'm so sorry for tonight.. It was wrong of you to not listen, but it was also wrong your dad went nuts about it.. I'm so sorry.."

Oh my god, mom.. Why is she apologizing for what dad did? This hurts..

I lean back into her, I can't speak normally, because I'm really upset, so I whisper. "It's okay mom.. I'm okay.."

"It was wrong of your father to hit you.. I'm so sorry it happened.. I love you so much.." My mom fights back her tears.

"Really.. It's okay mom, it was my fault anyway. I shouldn't have been so rebellious and disrespectful this week, I'm sorry.."

"No, don't be so silly, we were wrong, we shouldn't have been so hard on you."

"No, mom, you weren't. I just didn't listen and that's disrespectful of me.."

"Shh.. Stop that. Tell me.. How's your Samuel doing?" She asks me.

I shrug and tear up. "I don't know.. He's in a very deep sleep and I have no clue what to do.. I'm so scared.." I say and start crying.

My mother nods. "I understand my dear, but I'm sure the doctors will help him the best they can, he'll be okay." She says. "You should get some sleep, it's late."

She gets me out of the chair and takes me to my bed. She lays me down and covers me with my blanket. She kisses my forehead, which she never does, she stopped doing that when I was around 10.