love is a mess - jachary

" I'M DOING GOOD "

04/17/2019

.

.

jack focus

a week has spent and zach still didn't wake up. boys and zach's family went to see him every day and apart from josh (zach's dad), everyone was slowly losing hope because zach's state didn't improve, not even a little bit.

while daniel, corbyn and jonah were at the cafeteria, jack went upstairs and crossed the hallway, looking for zach's room. he couldn't explain what he was feeling - he didn't know if he was sad, mad, hopeless, desperate... or maybe he was all of that at the same time? in one word, jack was depressive. every day, every night, he was thinking about zach. he couldn't sleep and lost his appetite. his life had no sense anymore, because zach was no longer there to give one. jack still had continously the words 'zach can die' in his head and obviously, he still didn't want to believe it.
zach can survive.
in fact, no, it was not even that he can survive, it's that he must survive. otherwise, jack won't be able to live anymore. zach has stolen his heart and jack wished that he won't leave this world with it.

" zach, come back... i promise i'll catch up all my mistakes and i'll always be there for you, like i'm doing now. i- i miss you. "

jack's anxiety was making him stutter. he sat on the edge of zach's bed and took his hand - the coldness of this one startled the young boy, making him shuddering. he was caressing it with his thumb to warm it, paying attention to zach's infusion.

oh, a drop of water just fell from the ceiling, right on our hands. jack looked up to see where the leak was before to realize that it didn't come from the ceiling. it came from himself.
i didn't even notice that i started crying.
zach couldn't die, he didn't have the right to do that to jack.

" zach, stay strong, don't leave me alone. i'm really sorry for... OH MY- "

zach's pulse was slowing down more and more...

 " ZACH NEEDS SOMEONE QUICKLY! "

thank god three nurses run in the room.

" what's wrong? " asked one of them.

 " his pulse- " jack couldn't finish, he was too scared.

his pulse beats to 10... 5... 3... omg zach...
on the contrary, jack's heart was beating extremely quick, creating a contrast with the situation. 

" HIS HEART STOPPED! " shout the nurse.

zach, stay with us...
jack's tears couldn't stop flowing. the nurses tried to rescusitate him once... zach, hold on, please!

twice...  oh, fuck.
jack knew that if zach's heart wouldn't start beating again after the third time, he will die.

but luckily, they managed to resuscitate him the third time. jack sighed of relief, slowly catching his breath. those three minutes were the longest of his life.

.

why don't we focus

daniel, jonah and corbyn were coming back from the cafeteria and suddenly saw jack running towards them. he was crying, which surprised them because they had never seen jack crying of sadness till now. corbyn swallowed and asked :

" jack, what happened? "

" h-he almost died. his heart stopped but thankfully, the nurses managed to resuscitate him " answers jack, wiping his tears.

" oh my god! " exclaim jonah and daniel at the same time.

 " it's all my fault... " mutters jack, tired and desperate.

jonah didn't like to see jack in that state so he tries to reassure him.
" no, jack. even if you didn't have the best behavior that day, it's not your fault. it's the driver of the truck who's in fault, not you. i know you gonna tell me that because of you, zach wanted to come back to the house, but this truck could've crashed in our car even if we were coming back with all the band, so it isn't your fault. "

jacks nods wordlessly, a bit reassured.

" hey, guys, what if we come back home to play fortnite and decompress a little? " offers corbyn.

" good idea " approves daniel.

.

.

boys were sitting in the car silently, still shocked of what happened to zach earlier - it proved them that anyone could die at any moment, which was kind of scary.
that's why we have to enjoy the people we love before it's too late, thought jack. something i didn't do.
t

hey hoped that zach will wake up because otherwise, they would regret to not have spent more time with him. of course, they have already spent a lot of time with zach, but it wasn't enough. they wouldn't be ready to face his death if zach doesn't hold on.

boys were also really sad for jack, who was depressive. the latter spent the rest of the day staring into vacuum but right now, he could feel his phone vibrating in his pocket. he pulls it out and sees that sydney (his sister) was calling him.

jack : allo?

sydney : hey jack, i wanted to know how you were doing since zach's hospitalisation...

the only person who was giving a meaning to jack's life could probably die and he was depressive but he answers anyway:

jack : it could be better but don't worry, i'm doing good.

sydney informs him that she'll come to los angeles soon and when they finish, corbyn questions jack " jack, why did you say you're 'doing good'? you're not doing good at all. "

jack sighed, wondering how he could explain what he was feeling.
" when people ask me 'how are you?' , i rather lie and say that i'm fine because i just don't wanna face reality. "

corbyn, daniel and jonah trade looks without saying anything, but their glares was speaking volume - jack's case was really serious.