I began to see it the older I got. The way he acted was like two different people. When he was home he had the dad persona. But he had a different persona outside the home. It would happen subtly, when we were out doing things. He'd see two male or two females or a trans out in public and first he would start off grumbling before going into an outrage. But what I didn't know until now was that he got worse before coming in at night.
I didn't realise he would find these people and kill them for pleasure because he hates them that much. I didn't realize he was destroying lives and families as he took care of us. But what I did realize is that even I wasn't omitted from his pain.
---
Addison
I flinch as he hits me with the belt again. "Don't worry son, we'll get that wretched demon out of you. You can be cleansed and healed again, just wait." He finally stops and walks out after deeming be hurt enough. I hear the door slam and slowly sit up. Being gay woth a homosexual hater is a painful thing. I don't ever know where he goes after he beats me but he usually come in late at night.
I manage to stand and slowly make my way downstairs and towards the kitchen for the first aid kit. I pull my shirt off and look down at my torso, which is covered in bruises. I'm opening the cream when there's a banging on my door. I sigh and walk towards the door but its ripped open and policemen rush in. They freeze for a secobd when they see me before grimacing. "Is your father home?" The man in front asks and I shake my head. "I doubt he'll be home till after midnight. Is there a problem?" The look he gives me is a mix of sadness, pity, anger, hate and more. "Your father is guilty of killing innocent lgbtq+ members. You need to come with us for your own protection, we'll have men wait here in vase he comes back and some go out to look for him. If you'll come with me."
I feel my hands begin to shake and take a deep breath. "May I get a shirt? I don't want to go out like this..." he nods and escorts me upstairs and back down with a shirt now covering me. I walk out with them and they carry me back to the police station. "Have you found him yet officer? The one who killed my fiance?"
The officer sighs and shakes his head. "We have men looling for him and at his house Thomas, if he makes a move we'll know. Know I need to take care of his son right now-" "your father is a murderer. He's a cruel man who is killing innocent people for being themselves. Why are you even here, after living with amonster like that your probably just like him!!" I flinch at his words and take a step back, the policeman lays a hand on my shoulder. "He killed the love of my life. He was on his way to pick up our son and...he's a monster and so are you for staying with-" "I didn't know. And I'm not like him, I get beat all the time for being gay in his house and can't do a thing about it because I'm underage and have nowhere to go. At least you have people that love you." I say to him and feel tears. He glares and scoffs. "Yeah and your fucked up father killed him! But go ahead, play to victim, pretend your life is so much worse than everyone else's!!" He yells at me and I flinch.
I rip away from the policeman and run out the station. It becomes hard to see from the tears but I don't stop. I run, and run until I'm at the bridge by the gay bar. I lean over the rail and look down at the water as the tears fall. "I know there are people out there worse off than me. I know that. It's why I didn't make a big deal out of it. I didn't want to sound like a victim and there are so many more people dad has hurt worse and..." i begin to sob and climb over the railing. "I didn't mean to sound like I had it worse. I didn't mean to sound like their deaths were unimportant...I'm sorry my dads a monster..."
I shiver and squeeze my eyes closed. "Sweetheart, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. And you sure as hell shouldn't think your pain is any less just because someone else may have it worse than you." I spin around wide eyed and see a drag queen standing beside me on the other side of the railing. "Your hurting, I can see that, anyone that wasn't stupid could see that. Whoever told you you weren't important or that you aren't a victim it just stupid. If you'll stop this wild idea in your head and come back over my friends and I will have a nice long conversation to help you calm down. Okay sweet pea?" I hang my head and slowly crawl back over. My lip wobbles and I'm pulled into a big warm hug. I fall apart and she shushes me all the way back to the bar before bringing me around back. She knocks and someone opens the door and we go in. She pulls me down with her and I curl up beside her still crying.
"What didya do now Momma? A girl asks and she shushes her. "He was at the brindge having a crisis cause some bitch told him that his problems weren't as important because he didnt have it as bad as others." "Your...the one who dad is d for killing all those people...arent you." I flinch when the man mentions it. "My little brother's friend was killed my him, it's sad. How someone can be so cruel."
I sit up and loom around shakily. "I-I'm not like him. Im n-not a monster...he..." I begin breathing heavily and put my head between my legs. "Hey now seet pea, calm down and breath. No one said you were." "But he did. He said because I chose to live with him I'm a monster. Like because I have his blood running through me its guilt by association. It's not fair cause clearly he hated me too, he just thought he could beat it out-" I cut myself off and stare wide eyed at the floor.
"Was your dad hurting you?" She asks kindly. My leg shakes and I slowly peal off the shirt. "It's not like he killed someone I cared about though so it doesn't matter." I grumble sadly. The man walks over and sits in the other side hugging me, gently. "Hey, hey. You were just as much a vitim as anyone else. You didn't choose this, it just happened. Life sucks that way but don't let others think they can push you down because they are in pain. Okay?" I nod and sniff. I should call that offiver and tell him where I am, he'll be worried.
