*Skyrim, the frosted, iced, snowy land of the Nords. 200 years after the Oblivion crisis.*
Once upon a time, there was a small village called "Goblin's Grace" located in the snowy depths of Dragon's Breath Mountain.
A clan of savage nords lived in this village, the Clan was dubbed "The Butt-Streak Clan" since all the nords wore rags as clothes and since there was no TP then they just scratched the crusted poop out of their ass cracks by scrunching the butt flap of their pants into their assholes to 'clean' the poop debris.
The village was full of shacks that were constructed using twigs and feces to hold it together, which the nords unhappily lived in.
The shacks were quite small. In fact, if you wished to go inside one of these shacks, you would have to lay on your tummy and shimmy your way in. Very unpleasant, if I might add.
There was a grand temple constructed using rare nordic stone found only in the mountains of Cheblin's Doom, the temple was located in the center of the village which held all of the ancient nordic relics of the clan.
The village was quite poor, as I'm sure you could tell. Though, the relics held inside the temple could easily fetch thousands of gold shillings, which could then be used to repair the village, purchase proper clothing and food, and so on.
Nobody was aloud in the temple except the two high priests of the clan, Gorbil Rod-Nose and Unveril Sword-Buns.
Most of the nord savages were surprisingly content living in this village, spending their days taking shrewd garlic dumps and playing in the snow.
Except one nord, this nord was not content at all, he hated his life and wished he could move on to a better life, with a nice house, a warm fire, some goat-skin moccasins, maybe even a wife and a few snot nosed kids.
This nord, was named Eervin Bleak-Farts, the name quite suited him. After all, he was indeed, bleak and his farts were just as bleak as him.
He would refuse to play with the other nords, hogging up his extravagant snow castles that he built to himself, which caused him to get scolded by the high priests (Gorbil Rod-Nose, in particular) for not 'sharing' his snow castles with the other more retarded nords who knew only how to make snowballs.
"Eervin! You know you have to share your toys with your fellow nords!" The high priests would often say. "But... but... I DON'T WANNNNA!" Eervin would then scream back in protest, he would then headbutt his snow castle, causing it to crumble so that no other nords could play with it.
The high priests did not like anyone talking back to them, so this would often result in Eervin getting 10 lashes on the buns with a curved willow branch by Unveril, 20 if it was Gorbil.
Eervin would usually race off to his shack after this happened, tears streaming down his dirty caveman face. Then he would launch himself into his shack, which often caused it to come crashing down on top of him.
Eervin would often watch the high priests ascend into the temple and spend hours in there, he always shook with a burning anger. 'why do i have to suffer in this poop ridden village!?!? why do they get to live in a fancy temple, wut makes dem so fancy' he would often wonder angrily to himself.
One day, Unveril died from constipation. Too many dumps built up in his intestines which caused them to come up his throat and suffocate him.
A common death in the Butt-Streak Clan, I'm afraid.
Since there was now only one high priest left (Gorbil Rod-Nose), it was tradition for a contest to be held and the winning nord would become the second high priest.
