November 10, 2018
Ng is for Nganga
That's me when it comes to you. Nganga as in hopeless. Nganga as in impossible. But also nganga because I am so amazed by your talent or all of you.
Did you know Dad was watching NBA today, and the gap was 20 points. My sister said that it's already hopeless, it's impossible to catch up especially since there were only a few minutes left. But since it was basketball, and I was reminded of you, I remained hopeful, so I said: "They could still do it." My sister answered that it could happen only if the team has someone who's really good. At that point I almost, almost said: 'if they have you then they would still be able to.'
It got me thinking. I'm putting you on a pedestal, aren't I?
This is always the problem.
How much of who I think you are is really you? Who is the real you? And if I don't know you, who am I crushing on?
Nganga as in impossible, because really you would just be left with your mouth open with how confusing this is.
Like Curls, who are you? Who are you?
Confession: I don't like feeling this way anymore. I'm waiting for that time that these letters would do what they're supposed to, which is help me stop from cru- no, like just thinking about you in general. Bet you like being the object of someone thoughts. Bet you like being admired. Bet you like just being praised. I don't know. I. DON'T. KNOW. You are just as good and just as bad as I would believe because I. DON'T. KNOW. YOU.
So Curls, what am I doing?
I don't like this anymore,
Just Anon
Anon's Note:
Nganga = to open the mouth
