ironstrange headcanons

Broken PT.2

Trigger: mild description of rape.
Personally, this did hurt to write. As person who almost got abused, i exactly know how Stephen feels.

It's been two weeks after the accident, and Stephen is trying to live like nothing happened, but all the effort he's putting in is not really helping him getting through the trauma.

Tony suggested many times to try at least go to therapy, but he rebuts stating that they wouldn't understand that they weren't humans but other creatures.

He is trying his best trying not to think about it too much, but every single time he says the word stop, flashbacks run through his mind, triggering and making him relapse again.
All the times he's tried to at least get over all the scars on his body made him feel sick, ruined, violated and not.. him anymore.

All the times he looks at himself in the mirror he cries, he cries like he's never done before.
"Stop looking at me like that" he says to the mirror.

"I hate you, don't look at me like that."
He tightens the grip on the counter.
"You could've done better. It's all your fault that it happened. You are a selfish bastard. You shouldn't have gone alone."

A tear is running down his cheek, his eyes hiding emotions and his throat hurting from choking on his own tears.

His neck,  now not entirely purple and blue from the hematomas anymore, has become more a green/ grey color. All the cuts are now fading away but the scars will always rest on his face. His chest still aching from the broken ribs and the wounds.

God, not to talk about his back and internal damage.
He can't sleep and sit normally for a long period of time without hurting and bursting into tears.

His whole body now feels like nothing to him, he's disgusted by it and doesn't want to be in it anymore. He doesn't want to remember what he went through.

It hurts.

He can't breathe. He is having a panic attack, as usual.

He lays on the wall, looking up and seeking for air, while mumbling softly Tony's name letting the emotions overwhelm him.

Tony was near the room, however he never dared to enter the bathroom when Stephen was in unless he had to.

This time he knocks on the door and asks for permission to come in, having a positive response from Stephen.

As he comes in he doesn't say anything and just takes the wizard in his arms, putting his head on his shoulder to comfort him.

"You are going to be okay" he says between  some little comfort kisses on the top of Stephen's head.

"Shush.. you're gorgeous. You're strong. Honey it's all fine. I'm here for you"
Stephen cries on the smaller man's shoulders burying his face in the crook of tony's neck.

The back rubs tony's giving him are making Stephen calm down, as always.

Once he's fully calmed down, Tony gets Stephens's face in his hands and wipes away the remaining tears on the cheeks with his thumbs, comforting him.

"We are going to therapy today, okay? I booked an appointment with my old therapist. You don't have to be scared, I'll be there with you. We can try at least one time to see if it helps you or not. If it doesn't I promise I won't ask you to go there ever again."

Stephen nods and looks down feeling guilty "I'm sorry"

"No, don't be. I know the feeling."

"You have never been sexually abused" stephen sighs sadly.