So sensible brain won out over temptation brain in the end last time, reminding me of how awfully I suffer after any exercise, and making it so that temptation is unlikely to be sufficient to get me to go walking for a phone game again any time soon.
However, tonight it faced a new challenger: self-destructively depressed brain. Self-destructively depressed brain not only doesn't care that I might suffer, it actively pursues said suffering. And it got in on multiple insidious levels: temptation brain had seen a magnemite we needed at a nearby park, and a sensible-adjacent bit of brain knows that back in the day going for a walk when I was depressed would often cheer me up. Sensible brain tried to argue the time of night, the dark and coldness, but that only appealed to self-destructive brain all the more. Sensible brain was slightly alarmed by how destructive emotions were, and was talked around by the thought that maybe we wouldn't actually go that far (especially if the magnemite disappeared before we got there). Depressed brain envisioned crying in a park all night (with a new magnemite).
Naturally, we went the whole distance, though most of the way back was hell with my legs shaking like an earthquake. I was safe around here, though my breathing was strained. I don't feel better emotionally, and tomorrow's going to be physically awful.
But I do now have an evolved magneton, so temptation brain is counting it as a win despite everything else having clearly lost. Depression brain would probably do it again.
