So I have a problem with tapping into my mind and writing down exactly how I feel. Because I don't know how I feel. I know that I'm sad, messed up, lonely, worthless, ugly, a waste of space etc. But I need answers as to why I am all of these things. I need to know exactly, exactly, what I did to deserve this. Maybe that way I can warn others because no one should ever feel likes this, nobody deserves it. And maybe if I know why I deserve it, I can do something about it, fix the mistakes I apparently made that were so drastic that I deserved several mental disorders before I even fully hit puberty. Yes, I wasn't even 13 when the first thoughts of suicide entered my head, when I slid my wrist open and finally things calmed down in my head as I watched the blood drip down to the floor. This world is messed up. Mental disorders deserve to be treated just like physical disorders, just to make everything a bit more fair. And if I could take everyone's pain, from each and every single person on this planet, I would do it in a heartbeat, without hesitation.
