Deception

sixteen*

// I got a war in my mind //

It's supposed to be just a normal Tuesday evening with me doing my schoolwork the entire time but now I find myself pondering over the thoughts of Brian again. It's weird how he'll randomly pop up into my mind at times but it's never how you'll expect it to be.

I mean it's never romantically as one might think, it's just, 'Why is he doing this?' or 'Is someone making him write to me?'. Sometimes the thoughts may even be 'Is this just a joke to him? Is he just playing with me?'.

It's these questions that usually make me want to track him down and ask him about all that is in my head but that's probably not a bright idea. With another soft sigh, I get up from my bed and sit on my desk table chair with a thump, dreading the idea of school. I'm not even done with homework yet.

A few hours later I somehow manage to finish up my five-page essay for English and my AP Maths homework. I stretch out my limbs after staying in the same position for several hours and I can feel my eyelids drooping from how tired I am.

I quickly change for bed and minutes after my head hits the pillow, falling into a dreamless sleep.

//

I hug my books closer to my chest when I feel eyes on me. I know they're probably talking about me again but I cannot do anything to stop it so I just try to not let it bother me. I pick up my pace to my next class, Chemistry, in order to escape their scrutiny.

I immediately find my usual seat in the middle of the classroom and notice that my lab partner is not here yet. Her name is Cindy, a polite girl with red hair and green eyes. She is quite popular with the boys but she's far too shy to talk to any of them.

The bell rings and our teacher comes in. The class quiets down and the next ninety minutes of the class goes by smoothly with a few embarrassing moments when someone is unable to answer a certain question. I'm lucky I'm not one of them today.

Eager to get out of class, I say a short goodbye to Cindy and walk to the library when the bell rings since I have a free period next. I wonder if I should check my phone but decide against it, knowing that I'll be thinking about the message for the whole day if I know he sent one.

I get a drink from the vending machine outside the library and finish it quickly before entering my quiet safe haven with a smile of relief.

At least no one can bother me here.

//

Brian: I thought it would be fitting to acknowledge my kindness for giving you my prize. Plus, if I'm not mistaken I did answer your question, even if it was cryptic.

Brian: Hopefully I didn't leave you too annoyed with my answer :p Also, I just realized we've never actually talked face to face yet.

Brian: So I was thinking, do you want to meet up sometime?

I'm still trying to process Brian's question an hour after reading his message. He knows I've seen the message but I just don't know how to reply. I mean he's been so secretive so why does he want to meet up with me now? Why didn't he mention anything about meeting each other when I asked him those questions about his motive and identity?

Suddenly feeling frustrated with everything I let out a tired groan and fall onto my bed. Why can't I just have normal struggles in life about the clothes I'm wearing like any other seventeen-year-old girl? I run my hands down my face, wishing that the action can take away all my doubts, but life doesn't work like that.

It's only seven thirty in the evening, but I had an early dinner. I made a sandwich with some leftover chicken I found in the fridge. I will probably be hungry again at about nine but by then I'll probably be way too lazy to go get food.