Lost In The Stars

Chapter 4*

"Abby come on wake up!" Todd's concerned voice is what wakes me up. I then realize I'm screaming. I sit up quickly and start crying uncontrollably.

"Hi, come on I'm here." He throws me into a hug. I'm still crying and he's rubbing my back trying to calm me down.

"Get off me," I whisper through my sobs. He puts his hand up in surrender.

"When are you actually going to forgive me A?" He asks with a pleading look on his face.

"I have no idea Todd, maybe when you actually mean it. And stop calling me that." I tell him swinging my legs off my bed. He sits down next to me.

"What do you mean Abbie, I do mean it, and I mean it every time I say it." He says with a sad look on his face.

"Bullshit," I say looking directly in his eye whilst preceding to get up from my bed and make my way to my en-suite. He follows slowly behind me. Will he ever leave me alone?

"What do I have to do to make you forgive me?" He asks

"Nothing. Nothing you can do will ever make me forgive you for what you did. Nothing." I say quite rudely, but that's the only way I can get my point across.

"That's not fair Abbie." He says to me,

"That's not fair? You leaving me and dad when mom died isn't fair, Todd, not this. You have no idea of the meaning." I say whilst wiping away my tears from all the crying I did.

"Come on Abigail, I was heartbroken-"

"Oh and I wasn't? We all were but you didn't see me or dad leaving did you." I say back to him.

"I don't want this conversation again Abigail." He says sternly.

"Then get outta my room!" I shout at him. A look of hurt flashes across his face. I feel slightly guilty of what I said but he needed to hear it. He tries to talk again but I cut him off.

"Just get out Todd," I say quietly. He finally leaves and then I take a deep breath. I wish it didn't have to be like this but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive him.

 I  proceed to brush my teeth and put my hair up in a messy bun at the top of my head. I head downstairs putting my jacket on and then my converse. I grab an apple on my way out and then make my way to my place. It's five in the morning so the sun is starting to rise. It takes me 10 minutes to get there. I go over to the tree and run my hand over the 'F+R+A= FOREVER' that's in carved on the wood. I smile remembering the time I did this in remembrance to my parents. I lay down on the grass and watch the sun start to rise. I take a deep breath and slowly start to relax.

"I miss you guys," I mutter under my breath I close my eyes and start humming just trying to relax. Ever since I lost my parents I find it really hard to just let my imagination flow. All my thoughts are clouded over by the people I love the most who I can't even be with. I know it's time to let their death go but I feel like I'd be letting them down in some way. I feel like I'm the only one who even remotely remembers their life on this planet. They were the best people ever and I hate thinking this but I feel like not enough people are grieving over them. I push that thought out of my head. People have grieved just not as long as me. My thoughts are interrupted by Jesse. Wait Jesse. He's standing in front of me looking like he was going to say something but decided against it.

"What are you doing here?" I ask. What the hell is he doing in my place?

"I couldn't sleep so I started walking around since I'm new in this neighborhood. And I came across this place." He says smiling a little.

"It isn't just a place. It's my place." I say very seriously.

"Huh, what do you mean your place?" He asks with a confused face.

"This place. The spot where you're standing. This tree. This ground. It's all mine." I point to the things I'm listing.

"I think that's the longest thing you ever said to me. Are you finally learning how to speak?"

Who does he think he is talking to me like that?

"Oh, so you come to my place and then you have the guts to talk to me like that! Who do you think you are?" I snap at him.

"I know who I am. And maybe that's the sad thing here."

"What do you me-"

"Oh look whatever, you've made it very clear you don't want me here so I'm just going to go." And he starts walking back the way he came from.

"Wait Jesse! Come back!" I'm yelling but he's ignoring me. What the hell was his problem?

"See what I mean guys, life sucks," I say looking up at the sky.

It looks like it's nearing 6 so I make my way back to the house. I think about all the things that have happened to me just this morning. My life was so plain and now there's a boy showing interest in me.

I can see the house in the distance I'm not that far away so I thought I'd jog to the front door. Why I decided to do this, I don't know, but of course, as I was going up the stairs to get to my front door and I trip and fall flat on my face. And guess who saw what just happened. Yep, you're right! The hottie that I like to call my neighbor. Why does this always happen to me? He doesn't say anything but I can see him trying his best not to laugh. He starts walking over to me and I think it's to laugh in my face but he surprises me by holding out his hand for me.

"De Ja Vu huh if I remember correctly this is how we first met." He tells me with a wink. Is this the same person I was talking to just a few minutes ago? He's changed his tune.

"Ye ha-ha," I say awkwardly,

"So I better go get ready for school, catch you later," I tell him. He smiles and says goodbye. I walk inside my house and collapse on my door. Well, that was awkward.

"Abbie is that you?" he shouts from where I think is the kitchen. I walk to the kitchen and see him with Camryn in his arms.

"Unfortunately." He sighs,

"You don't mean that." He says

"Oh but I do."

"Yes okay, whatever Abigail I'm not going to talk to you if you're just going to be rude." He says walking past me and goes into the living room. That was a tat hypocritical.

"Okay then," I mutter to myself. I then run upstairs noticing that I'm running a little late. I continue to do my daily routine, so apply a small layer of makeup, put my hair up into a messy bun and then get changed. Today I'm wearing black jeans, with a baggy maroon jumper and my white over worn converse. I grab my bag  from my desk and run downstairs. I run into the kitchen and quickly kiss Camryn on the head and say goodbye and I wave at Emma.

"Gotta go I'm running late!" then I sprint out the door. I'm running to the bus stop and as I'm nearing the bus stop I can already see it's left without me, I curse under my breath. I jog back to the house and ask if I can get a lift to school. Todd and Emma are heading a different way than me and there both late so they said for me to go and see if Jesse can give a lift. Who doesn't love some awkward tension?

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A/N

Hey who would've thought an update, I know I haven't updated in a while school has been really busy with me starting year 10 and all!

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed!

- Siobhan x