I gave birth to the baby they actually let me see him he was pale but still so beautiful tears fall as i look at him i have to talk to suie he's been sleeping ever since i gave birth
"Sui, suie wake up"
He wakes up and he looked at me like i had 4 heads
"Hey baby how are you feeling"
"I really dont know but shouldn't you be laying down you just had a baby"
"I'll sit down i just want to know you're okay"
"I guess im fine there is nothing we can do and it hurts to know that i also feel like shit because i feel like if i would have gotten here faster and just took you here right away instead of making you wait there could have been something i couldve done, that there would be something they could've done"
"Baby dont think that way its not your fault at all. Sometimes things just happen."
"I know but when the doctor told us thats all i could think"
I hug him and i cry i dont want him to feel like that just knowing he's feeling like that hurts me a lot so i know he feels terrible
"And you know while you were sleeping i decided to put up the crib and get everything ready in there"
"Awe baby really"
"Yeah and i was kinda proud of it" he tears up
"Awe its okay dont cry, please dont cry"
"Im trying mama it just hurts i was so excited to see him, hold him, play with him, maybe even take him to the studio sometimes when he got a little bit older"
"I know it will be okay though i promise you, and i know it probably wont help but you're allowed to see him"
"Did you go and see him"
"Yeah i did" i mumbled into his hoodie"
"Can you come with me to see him"
"Yeah sure lets go"
I walk in ahead of suie and go straight to the baby he walks behind me and looks at him
"He's so beautiful, he would have looked like me"
I hear sniffles from above me i move to the side and hug him
"Please calm down"
"Im trying"
"You want to leave?"
"No i want to stay for a few minutes"
"Okay"
He grabs his hand and looks at me kinda with hopeful eyes
"Can we try again"
"Suie i have to really think about that"
"Okay im just asking, i really want a baby now"
"We'll talk about it okay?"
"Alright"
I might try again cause yeah we're young but after we found out we were so happy about it and wanted it so bad and everyone supported us.
"Can you take a picture of me by him"
"Why"
"Because this we be the only picture we have together"
"Okay yeah i will"
He wipes his face and looks down at the baby i take the picture and hand him his phone
"Am i allowed to pick him up"
"Yeah"
Im actually scared suies going to get attached and have even more heartbreak than he already is i understand where hes coming from but i dont want him to suffer.
The doctor walks in and starts talking to us about everything
"What will be a name for him"
I look at suie
You want the name you picked or the one we agreed on
"Whatever you want i like both"
"We want to name him Alex"
The doctor walked out not too long after "why didnt you pick the one you agreed on"
"Because that isnt the one you wanted you agreed with me on it cause you wanted me to have my way"
"Thank you"
He gently put the baby down
"Im ready to leave"
"Okay come on"
He turns back to the holder holding the baby and kisses his head
He grabs my hand and we walk out
Car ride>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
It was silent up until suie decided to talk
"So i know it hasnt been long but have you thought about it at all"
"Actually i have"
"And?"
"Well im stuck like i want to have one with you and i also want to make you happy then thats what I'll do but im also 16 so its scary for me"
"I understand and i dont want to rush you just me and you we will have a few good weeks and then it will go all bad but these past few months ever since we found out we were having a baby we have been so happy i want us to stay that happy"
"We will as long and we work together"
