The Diary Of Jane

A Weeping Willow Waits For Me

                                                                 Jane

     Life can be so cruel sometimes. Like today. I put on a brave face for everyone, to let them know I'm ok. But I'm not. I break every night, but I'll never tell them that. I can't. I just need to get away sometimes, and I found the perfect place. It's near the bleachers, under a weeping willow tree.

     I thought that if I hid there, no one would find me. I was almost right. I was sitting there today, and up walks Blake Sparks. He asked me why I was crying, and called me some things that were no where near my real name. He told me what he really thought happened that night.

     He thought Eric and I had slept together, and that I didn't like it. He thought that's why Eric died. He thought that Eric was on his way to my house to prove me wrong, but he needed to be drunk first. That's when he lost control of the car, and ran into a tree.

     I cried and cried as he talked, and when I asked him to stop, he just laughed at me. After almost 30 minutes of him hurting me more than my dad has the capability to, he called me pathetic, and left. I sat there the rest of the night, and some time after he left, it started to rain. I just didn't care.

      I shook and shook, and I just stopped crying. For the first time ever, I couldn't see the good in someone. I couldn't see the good in Blake Sparks. I had seen his parent's, and it was there in those beautiful green eyes that they passed on to their son, that they would do anything for their son. They would never hit him. He was popular, and he was the star quarter back, and he was smart.

     Not a whole lot of people know that, but I've seen what he reads. I've seen his test scores. He was going to be valedictorian. I just don't know why he has to be so cruel. Around 10 Derek found me, and carried me to his car, where Anna was waiting with a blanket.

     I don't really remember what happened after that, but I do remember one small promise I made to Anna. I promised her that I would hate Blake Sparks for the rest of my life.

     On a happier note, the baby is 3 months old today!!

 

                                                                Blake

     When I read that she was going to hate me forever, I felt something inside of me break. I remember some of what I said, I don't know what I was thinking. I was saying things, that would get you expelled from school. It did put a small band aid over my heart that needed to be sewn back together, when she said that she had been watching me. She knew that I was smart, and what kind of books I liked. Kipling was most likely my favorite then and now. His poems seemed to speak to me, and his stories I just imagined would jump off the pages in which they were printed on.

     When I read that part of her diary, I promised myself something too. I promised myself that when I found Jane, I would get her to like me. I don't know if you can have a crush on someone you read about, but if you could, I was head over heels for Jane Amelia Shutersman.

     This is the very last entry your mom had, before she losses her journal.