Sorrowed Souls [Andy Biersack x Reader]

The Thoughts We Think

"I never thought I was the type to push love away, but I'd rather leave than push you away."

- Float (feat. Davey Havok), Souvenirs

You got to thinking, which in theory was a dangerous thing for you to do.

You thought, staring up at the holographic stars that projected themselves onto the ceiling of Andy's room.

He slept soundly beside you, snoring in the lightest of ways and sending something of a smile to your face, when you were quiet enough to hear that very sound.

But your brain was loud tonight, and you weren't sure why. Maybe because love—and blue-haired friendship—had pulled through. Maybe because, for once, the underdog had won.

Maybe because all those BVB songs were right, and somewhere somehow someway, Juliet Simms was separated from you three, far and away.

You shifted a little in bed, staring at the back of Andy and wondering how many times Juliet had slept in your place. Laid where you had laid, laughed where you had cried.

You weren't sure, and before you could do much, tears began.

I should just die.

Your hand pulled into a claw against your pillow, and from above and beyond your wrist, you watched Andy continued to breathe.

I should just die. They're better off without me.

Your eyes closed but you couldn't keep your mouth shut. A hiss of a whine squeezed from your throat, and the sound shaped up into small clips of high noise.

You were better off unhappy. You wanted Warped Tour back, the first one of the year. You should've never texted him—

"Hey," a familiar voice said. Oh, great. Were you schziophrenic, too?

"Hey, ______." A hand touched your shoulder, and you nearly jumped out of your skin.

"What?!" you whisper-hissed.

Even in the dark, the moon gave just enough light for you to see your bestie smile.

"I heard a noise like someone was crying. Are you okay?"

No.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep, you maniac."

Your friend grinned just a little at the inside joke - giving you a memory of a laugh that rebounded off the walls of her red car and reverberated back to just you two.

"I'm the one who's fine, space cadet," she mirrored, but this time you didn't smile at the shared memory. "C'mon" and she lifted you until you sat upright before dragging your feet, one by one, onto the carpet. "Let's go get you somethin' to stimulate our insides while the night is still young, padawan."

"Padawan?" you mimicked, watching as she turned to you, already halfway to the door.

"Wait, wait, wait." She bounded to Andy, whose sleeping form didn't even flinch.

"What're you—" and then your hand came to your forehead in disbelief. She was poking Andy's cheek.

"I promised tumblr I'd do this." She had her phone out, camera recording surprisingly well even in the dim moonlight.

You're so lucky you work enough to afford that damn phone.

But you kept that thought in, grabbing your outdated but still reliable cell from the nightstand as your friend stood tall, wrapping up the recording.