COMPILATION of ONE SHOT STORIES

Sana

Tingin.

Tanging nakakaputang inang tingin lang ang tangi kong nagagawa ngayon. Nakamasid lamang habang siya'y masaya kapiling ang babaeng nagpapangiti sa kanya.

All I could ever do is fucking watch him as my heart dies. That should've been me with him. I should be the one that makes him laugh, it should've been me that he kisses. Kaso nga lang, heto ako at ang layo sa kanya. Nakatanaw lamang sa taong hindi kailanman naging akin. Sana, muntik na sana.

"Hey, it's lunch time already. Wanna join us?" April, my officemate asked me. "Yeah, sure." I politely answered her and returned the smile she always has for me. How could I ever hate her? She's nice. She's pretty and an intelligent woman. I'm nothing compared to her. Kung minsan nga, napapaisip ako. Paano kung siya ay ako?

We were walking towards a certain fast-food chain. "Is it okay with you if my boyfriend's gonna join us?" Napatigil ako sa kanyang tanong. He'll be joining us?

"Hey Irena, okay ka lang? Kung ayaw mo naman, I can just tell him not to come and join us next time." Nakangiting sabi niya. Napailing ako at nginitian siya. "No, silly. It's alright. He can join us." Ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. It's been what? 5 years of not seeing him.

Sa tatlong taon kong kasama si April sa trabaho, ngayon lang kami magkakaharap muli. I mean, I always see him. I always find excuses not to be with my colleagues everytime may occasion lalo na't he's always present because of April. Naubos ko na siguro lahat ng excuses ko. Minsan nga, recycled na. And I'm glad that they never force me to join them. Because if I do so, my heart's gonna break.

"For the first time ah, ngayon lang sumama si Irena sa lunch time natin. Si April lang pala ang solusyon para sumama si Irena." Tudyo sa akin ni Vince. Nagtawanan naman sila habang ako ay napapailing na lamang. Nakayuko lang ako, ayaw kong humarap. Ang lapit niya sa akin, pero ang layo niya pa rin.

"Nga pala, April and Zeke kelan ba ang kasal?" Napatigil ako sa pagkain at para bang kinakapos ako ng paghinga habang kami ay naghihintay sa magiging sagot. Kelan nga ba? Ang tagal na nila. Their relationship was the on-and-off one. I didn't know at first that she was the one Zeke had told me when he was courting me. Yes, he did courted me. At that moment in my life, I was so damn broken. Not because of love. But because of my own. I was a shame to my family, a disgrace.

And he came out of nowhere. He rescued me from drowning. He was the one who helped me pick up the broken pieces of myself. He made me believe in my own capabilities and along with that, he was the reason why I trusted myself again. Without him, I don't know if I would still be alive. But that was five years ago. I shouldn't be feeling this way towards him. I shouldn't hate him. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here to where I am now. I wouldn't be the person that I am today. He made me a strong independent woman, I should be grateful for it.

"Well, we are still enjoying our time and of course, we're still saving for that. So in God's time, pupunta rin tayo doon." Natatawang sagot ni Zeke. Samu't saring responses ang narinig ko. I just smiled at that. I'm happy for him. I'm happy that at long last, he's with the girl he made his world. I'm happy seeing his eyes smile. I have never seen his eyes sparkle like that, he never looked at me the way he looked at April. And with that thought, it broke my heart once again. Bakit nga ba mahal ko pa rin siya hanggang sa ngayon?

"Ikaw Irena, wala ka pang pinapakilala sa amin ah? We never knew your story." Usisa ni Huston. They fell silent and fixed their eyes at me. Napatingin ako sa taong iniiwasan kong titigan. There he is, looking at me like I'm some kind of a specimen. There he is, waiting for what I'm about to say.

"Wala naman akong maipapakilala dahil wala naman akong time para diyan. And there's no story behind that. Period." Pagak na tawa ang lumabas sa labi ko pagkatapos. They remained silent and looked at me. Zeke just stared at me, there was something in his eyes. Was that pity?