I left her behind! [COMPLETED]

Chapter 9: Finding Out

Clarke's POV

When I woke up I was turned away from Bellamy and he was behind me. He had his arm around my waist and his other arm was under my head. I turned slightly so that I could see him and he looked so peaceful when he slept. I didn't want to wake him up and I honestly didn't want to get up either, so I just laid there and felt peaceful while in his arms.

When he finally did wake up, he kissed me on the head and squeezed tighter around my waist, like he didn't want to let go. I turned around facing him so that I could see his handsome face and beautiful brown eyes. "Good morning Bell." I whispered. He gave a light smile while closing his eyes and said, "Good morning, Clarke. How did you sleep?" He asked while trying to wake himself up more. "Good. What about you?" I asked "Well better then I've ever slept, cause I had you there with me." He smiled brightly and stared into my eyes as he said that and I could help but smile and looked down almost shyly.

Me and Bellamy had got dressed and were ready to do the day's activities and problems when I remembered that Bellamy had something to tell me. If I was being honest, I don't think I wanted to hear it. When he said he had something to tell me, his face was very dull and sadden and I just hope that it's not that bad.

"Wait Bell, what were you wanting to talk to me about today? Yesterday you'd said we would talk about it today." There it was, his face went to that same sadden place when I had mentioned whatever it was.

"Are you sure you want to talk about?" I looked at him a little confused. I didn't even know what it was and he was asking if I wanted to talk about it. "I don't even know what we are talking about so I guess. I kinda want to know now." He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the room and sat me down on the bed. He sat beside me and took a deep breath before starting to explain.

"Well you know that I went to the bunker yesterday and got my sister out and more and more people are coming here to live and start over." I looked down as he was talking. "Yes? Go on." I didn't know if I was ready to hear but I listened. Whatever it was, it was important.

"When everyone started to come out, I found Kane but I didn't find your mother. I walked over to Kane and when he saw me he immediately asked for you. There wa..was a disease that went around the bunker  half way through the six years. M..many people passed away and A..Abby was o..one of them." My heart stopped. There was a ringing in my ears and I couldn't hear anything. Tears started flowing down my face and I couldn't think. My only family that was left. That I hadn't seen in years and all this time I was waiting but she was gone. I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell her I loved her one last time. I didn't get to tell her how wonderful she made my life and how she made me who I am today. I didn't get to hug her or kiss her. I will never be able to do that again.

"Clarke, are you okay?" I was pulled out of my thoughts when Bellamy put his arm on my shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze. I stood up from where I was and looked at him. He walked up to me and gave me hug. He knew I was in a dark place at the moment and we just stood there. I had my arms around his waist and he had his arms around my neck. I cried and cried and cried and he was just there for me. Held me in his arms and told me everything will be okay.

When we finally broke up apart I kissed him on the lips and said "I'm going to go take a walk for a little bit and try to clear my head. Plus I fill like I need to be alone for a little bit." He shook his head in understanding and hugged me one more time and kissed me on the head. When we let go I turned around and started to walk into the woods. My walk started to turn into a run and I just kept running. I didn't want to believe that everyone one of my family members were gone. I had no one. No family. I didn't want to believe. I didn't want to believe.

I had spent a couple of hours walking around and just thinking of everything. Of what i was going to do. Of what my mother was like during her last moments. Of what she might have been thinking about. Everything was still a blur but I went back to camp anyway. When I got there, there was so many people and already many new cabins built for others to stay in.

Bellamy had caught my eye and ran up to me giving me another hug. I was so grateful that he was so caring and was helping so much through this. I hugged him back and when we came apart he handed me this letter. "What is this?" I asked. "Kane gave it to me. I wanted to give you a little time before I gave it you but it's from your mother to you before she passed away." Tears were running down again and he wiped them away with his thumb then cupped my face with his hands. "I'll give you some space. If you need anything or want to talk or even just want me to be with you then come get me and I'm there." I hugged him and told him thank you. "I love you Clarke." He said. "I love you too Bell."

With that I walked back to my room and sat at my desk that was in the corner away from the door. I turned on the light and sat the letter onto the desk. I don't know how long I just stared at it but I didn't know if I could bring myself to read it. These were my mother's last moment. The last things she was thinking about before she past and was I really ready to read it. I had just found out about this and it was already hard enough after the whole Echo fiasco.

I thought for hours thinking of what to do and finally I pushed myself to go ahead and read it. I opened the envelope and pulled out the letter. At the very top it stated

My Dearest Clarke...

Hey guys I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you are having a great day or night. If you have any suggestions please comment. Luv you guys.