The Alpha Hunts

Chapter 36

-edited-
Cassandra POV:

"Calvin we need to talk..." I say closing CJ's door.

Calvin looks at me knowingly. It's the conversation we've been avoiding having all day, but it's something that we finally need to talk about. It can't be put off for much longer.

I sit on the bed as he leaned against the dresser waiting for me to speak. "When you came back, I was so happy, Calvin. I went from thinking I'd never see you again to seeing you and being ecstatic you were here again. But at the time of your absence, I didn't want to grow feelings for Lucifer..." he looks down and crosses his arms tighter. "I know it was his plan to grow closer to me but when I thought I rejected him I wouldn't want to grow closer. But somehow I did. No matter how much I ignored him and even tried to degrade him, I felt bad. The day he left I didn't want him to go, I couldn't even tell you how old he is but I didn't want him to leave. And this morning when... when he kissed that girl, it hurt, a lot.

"I know it hurt you too. I knew my feelings would get in the way and normally I'd be able to hide that but these fucking hormones are making that fairly complicated." I try to laugh. "I don't want to do you wrong Calvin. I love you and I love Lucifer, I jus-"

"Love Lucifer more." He finished. I watched as his face turns red and tears leave his eyes. It's obviously involuntary because after years of being friends and years of marriage and basically three kids together... this hurts more than anyone could imagine. I just told my husband that I'm in love with someone else.

He wipes his face as he looks away from me.

"Calvin." I stand to give him a hug but he just shakes his head at me. I try not to cry, and I wish I didn't say anything. I wish I continued to ignore it.

I hear him growl, and I know he's having some kind of internal war in his head. I know he's going to say something, and I know I'm going to hurt regardless of what he says, but I know if he's subconsciously growling at himself... it's no good.

"Cassandra, when we first discovered your mate I pushed you to him because I knew someday it would happen and when it did I wouldn't rid you of something amazing." I can hear the restraint in his voice, trying to keep from yelling. "I wanted you to be with him, I pushed that for a long time because I didn't want this to happen!" He yells at the end. "I didn't want it to think that you'd choose me over him and then I get this type of hope that we will actually be forever! But he moves on now you discover you love him!" With the louder his voice gets the more I shrink.

"I know. I know." I say. "I kept saying I choose you, and I'm sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I need to go." Calvin said cutting me off. "I can't do this right now Cassandra."

He opens the door, and standing there is CJ, sad, tired, and confused. He looks at Calvin, this probably the first time he's seen Calvin cry, and it's clear he doesn't know what to think. But he seems to know it's my fault by the way he looks at me.

"What happen?" He finally asks.

"Come on its time for bed, you know the saying."

"Once I tucked, I gotta stay stuck." I heard CJ say before Calvin left.

***

I ended up falling asleep by myself. Calvin didn't come back last night, instead he sent me a text saying he was going to be staying at Menus and Debras place and we'd finish talking tomorrow.

I don't want to finish talking.

I have to go to the office, but after hiding my sad face in my Calvin's shoulder yesterday, I don't want to face the pack. Especially since Calvin and I forced them to hate Lucifer, and then I cry because I see him kiss another girl.

I hear a knock on the door and opening it is Grant. "Menus told me everything.." he says and I just hug him because I know I can't have Calvin and Lucifer but I don't want to lose Calvin. "I know you didn't mean for any of this happen, and that you had the best interest at heart."

"But I wish Calvin knew that." I cried.

"He does know it, he's just hurting. He's lost his mate, Cassandra," Grant pulls back from the hug and looks at me, "now he's losing you."

God I'm selfish.

I slam my head on his chest as I no longer think of myself but why Calvin is hurting. The only two women he's ever been in love with has died and has left him. I can't let this happen to him. "Grant I need your help with something." I say wiping my tears off my cheeks, and fixing my posture.

"Anything you need Cass."

"Help me kill Lucifer."