The Alpha Hunts

Chapter 52

-edited-

Previously

I press her body against the trunk of the tree so I can hold myself against her. Melting at the sound of her moan, as her left hand clings to my bicep as her right hand is placed over my heart. I grab her hips trying to bring us impossibly closer.

Reluctantly I pull back, to catch a breath staring at her blue eyes that shine bright thanks to the fully lit moon. I can't break away. Putting my hand on her cheek as my thumb traced her bottom lip. I want to kiss her, but instead I inhale her scent, silently fully accepting her and what we are.

I kiss her neck, but it wasn't like the rest of her skin. As I look back, I see it... Calvin's mark. I touch it and I feel Cassandra go from relaxed to tense. "His mark.." I say.

Her right hand slides up my chest, temporarily sitting on my shoulder before cupping my neck and forcing me to look at her. "It's ok." She says softly, before landing her lips on mine.

Lucifer POV:

My fingertips trail lightly up her arm, letting my hand lie gently on her shoulder before I kiss her back. I can't understand why this feels wrong, like I shouldn't be doing this with her. My mind going back to Livy every time. Then my stomach turns to knots and I feel like death has his hand around my throat. I can't help how I feel about the sensations, the inevitable weakness in my want. It's like my brain understands it and tells me to love it but I don't feel it in my heart. My heart still belongs to Livy.

I roll out of bed to go the bathroom. Looking in the mirror trying to discover who I've become and what I've made of myself. There's so much I don't understand and there's so much I want to understand. I brought Cassandra into my home, back to back making the same mistake. She's ok with this, but I'm not.

Every time I get to this point, ready to tell her I can't continue this, I freeze. At a loss of words, no recollection of what I wanted to say, no rush to leave her. I'm literally weakened by her presence. Every fault, surfacing and staying, leaving me to drown in my regret when it's all over.

I hear Wynters cry from upstairs. Her crib still in my room, Cassandra hasn't been there yet, and I don't plan on taking her up there either. I can't do it in my bed with Cassandra that I used to do with Livy. Like I said it doesn't feel right, not even in the guest bedroom.

I look at Wynter and she immediately smiles when she sees me, bouncing her knees as she gripped onto the bars. Continuing with her babble as of her tears were just a distant memory. Her smile, identical to her mothers.

"Nap time over, little one?" I ask as I picked her up. She grabs my hair before showing off her two teeth. "Yea, I know, daddy needs a haircut." Her face goes blank, she has no idea what I said but it's fine. "Come on, let's go get something to eat."

Walking to the kitchen, I try to keep myself quiet. I don't want Cassandra to wake up, I hate when Wynter sees her.. I don't want her to think she's like a mom or something. Well she is, but not Wynters, and I don't want Wynter to think it either.

"Does cereal sound good to you? I know you're a bit young, but I was suckling on pork chops at your age." I grab a box of Rice Crispys to avoid her choking in any way. "Now you're going to love these munchkin, taste amazing but only with sugar. But you're too young for sugar." I sit her in her high chair as I made her bowl.

I open the packet of airplane spoons that Livy bought a while back. They're for when she's older, but I want to use them now. All the baby shower shit was kinda cheap. But Livy said "our baby is worth millions so why worry about a dime". I love that woman.