Loving Her ~ Book FIVE

No Strings Attached

No Strings Attached

27th June 2041 (Ash 28wks and 4 days, Georgie 24 wks and 5 days, Lexi 25wks and 6 days, Tahni 27wks and 5 days)

McKenna's POV

I groaned as I looked into my bathroom mirror, my hands gripping the basin tightly as I bent over slightly. I've never felt more sick in my life than I do right now. Well more so for the last two weeks since I first peed on that white stick that has changed everything. And it's all my fault that I'm in this mess and what a huge fucked up mess I'm in. I never wanted to ever do what I'm about to do but everything in my gut tells me that I'm doing the right thing. But in my heart it's killing me.

Wiping my mouth clean with a wet face washer to freshen up, I took a few more calming breaths. They weren't helping, it just made me want to turn around again and shove my head back down the toilet bowl. My morning sickness started last week, and according to the dates I'm now seven and a half weeks pregnant. Pregnant to a guy that is already expecting a child and with three more kids at home. I have no excuse for my actions, if you play with fire, you will get burnt. And that's what I had done, each and every time I slept with him.

I'm young and foolish, I never wanted to settle down and have babies or get married until I was at least thirty. So playing the field and living life to the fullest is what I have been doing since leaving high school. I flirt and tease guys, it's just the way things roll with me and just because it takes no little time for me to turn on the charm doesn't mean that I'm ending up in bed with them. Slut would be the word that will come to mind when my name is mentioned but only a hand full of people know the real me. It's all just an act, I don't know why I still do it, old habits die hard.

Most nights out it would be just a make out session, it really only went further if it felt right. I can still count how many guys I have had sex with, with each finger and still have room to add a couple more. It may appear from an onlooker that I'd be tipping the scales at over a hundred but it's barely even been ten. Each guy has been casual fucks, no strings attached, friends with benefits that type of thing and never ever have I been with more than one at a time. I'm not that type of person. I'm just not ready to have that steady, permanent type of relationship.

It's just my luck that somehow one eclipsed my fortress and set up home in my uterus.

"Macca? You alright in there? We need to leave, it's time." the sound of my bestie Ash knocking lightly on the door had my heart leap into my throat. The sweat was forming on the palms of my hands and the more I rubbed them on my jeans, the more it felt like it returned. I'm so fucking nervous and scared, but I have to do this. I'm not doing this for me and it will eat me alive inside until the day I die.

"Coming." I whispered and took another look in the mirror and tried to collect my thoughts. It's no use though, they are all over the place and I can't concentrate on anything. When I got through the door, Ash was leaning up against the wall, her hands were rubbing over her swollen belly. I squeezed my eyes shut to rid of the images of picturing myself with the same bump. That's not going to happen to me.

"Before we go though Mac, are you hundred percent sure that you want to go through with this.?" Ash asked softly as she reached for my hands. I looked into her eyes and saw that she was concerned and worried about me. Like I said, this is my fault and I have to fix it. Nothing good will come from this if I keep the baby. As much as my heart is burning right now, I can't go through with the pregnancy.

"I'm sure. I'm ready to go." I whispered, my throat was still feeling raspy from the vomit spell I just had to endure for the past two hours. Morning sickness sucks big time. She smiled and nodded, she grabbed my handbag for me and took my hand then walked us to the front door of my apartment. When she was about to turn the knob, she turned back and looked me in the eye again, this time looking more serious.