David POV
"Im not angry anymore" the song plays lowly, almost as if its just in the background. Im sitting on my couch, glass of wine in my possesion and a sleeping Simon on the other end. I look at him, his hair that, as it ever does, looks like a badger. His pretty brown eyes that are closed, obscured from my vision. The way his lips are parted, in an oddly innocent way. His chest rising and falling as he breathes. As I realize what im doing, I bite the inside of my cheek softly, hating how I let myself do this to me again. "Well, sometimes I am" I hum along.
"You- You cant love me David" I look at him confused. "What do you mean? Ofcourse I ca-" he grits his teeth and steps threateningly close to me "dont be so fucking selfish" I stare at him, furrowing my brow. "Simon what the hell are you talking about" I cross my arms. "Do you really think you have a chance David? Do you really think id give up my reputation, my work, my life to date you? Just because you have some silly crush on me?!" His voice raises with each sentence, each word making the pain in my heart more painful. I stare at him, trying to not let the tears spill. My hands curl into fists and I push at Simons chest angrily, making him stumble. "Me?! Selfish?! All you fucking care about is your money and your fucking reputation! God I wish I didnt have some silly crush on you! And the worst part?! I dont! Im in love with you!" I turn and slam the door, making my way into my car, sit in, and then I cry.
"I dont think badly of you" my hands wish to run through his hair, but I cant bring myself to do it. 'The fact he came over tonight doesnt mean anything' I reprimand myself. Trying to remind myself that if anything ever happened it would only be because he could get something out of it. Not because he would love me. "Well, sometimes I do"
The only reason I even let him in my house is because, for the first time in a very long time, I didnt wake up wanting to die. "It depends on the day"
I take sip from my glass, returning my gaze to Simon, sleeping ever so peacefully. "The extend of all my worthless rage" I had never really listened to the lyrics of this song, what a peculiarly fitting time to do so. Throughout the day I had realized id wasted weeks on being angry, sad, bitter over what he said. He had tried making it up to me on many occasions, stopped about a week ago, but today he looked at me, and he smiled. And I smiled back.
"I'm not angry anymore" I hadnt thought I couldve ever forgiven him. But here I am, learning to forgive and forget. And even today, I had never thought I would have let him in my home, yet here he is, sound asleep.
I sigh and lean back, closing my eyes momentarily. "I'm not bitter anymore" my eyes open halflidded as I admire him once again. I can understand it. I'll never understand why he would say that, why he would hurt me like that, but I could understand that his work was important to him. And hes right, you never know what the press and the rest of the world would do if it ever were to happen.
"I'm syrupy sweet" shortly after our little moment I had smiled at him more frequently, cracking jokes, having practically lit up again. "I rot your teeth down to the core If I'm really happy" I had even offered to dance, and drive him home as his driver said he'd be a bit late. I cant understand how it all flipped so quickly.
I close my eyes.
"It depends on the day" I wake up to somebody shaking me gently, the song still playing. I open my eyes to see a ever so handsome Simon Cowell standing beside me, offering a careful smile. "If I wake up in a giddy haze" I admire his features for a moment, trying to figure out what to do. I decide to simply meet his gaze, and give him my brightest smile. His wary face turns into one of relief and a grin.
"Well I'm not angry" he mumbles something about taking a quick shower and I decide to take another few minutes of sleep after telling him where he can find the stuff he needs.
I wake once again to the telltale smell of bacon. My mouth waters and I groggily sit up, rubbing at my neck and back. Shouldnt have slept on the couch like that. Nonetheless I stand up, stretch, and make my way towards the kitchen.
There I find Simon standing infront of the stove, bacon on the pan and scrambled eggs already sat on two plates on the counter. "I'm not totally angry" I watch as he turns the bacon around, making sure it doesnt get burnt. He hums a quiet melody and turns to make way to the fridge, startling when he sees me. He breaks out into a grin and puts a hand over his heart "jesus you scared me David"
I look at him and I smile. "I'm not all that angry anymore" "My bad Si" he opens the fridge, taking out juice and I grab two glasses as he finishes the bacon, putting it on the plates. We sit together on the couch, turning on a disney movie because for some reason he felt like watching one at 11am. As the movie progresses we end up cuddled together, my arm around his shoulder and his strewn across my torso. 'Maybe we'll be okay'
