Simon POV
I run a hand through my hair and exhale loudly, ashing my cigarette out the window, trying not to get rain in my car. I grip tighter at the steering wheel as the light turns red infront of me. My hand moves to the radio, I need something to take my mind off of things. I turn it on.
"One taught me love One taught me patience" I roll my eyes and change station. "When she's mean, you know you love it" I grind my teeth together, switching the turn signal on and turning the wheel left.
"I cant be bothered to listen to this right now" I try my luck one more time. "I don't wanna go but I don't wanna stay here" A calmer song plays. I decide to let it play as my mind keeps running.
The song doesnt help quieten it, but rather the oppisite. "You show me something, and give me something you found" I think of him, deciding the song rather fits. He showed me how to really love, he gave me his unconditional love. Why did I have to go around and fuck it all up.
I swerve into the other lane, the rain soflty pattering over me. "and I free you from your demons, that have always been around" A memory pops up in my mind. The day I found David crying in his dressing room. I comforted him and asked him to tell me what was wrong, eventually he did. He really hates himself, and I'll never fathom how. He is the most perfect human being ever
I stop at another red light, finishing my smoke and throwing it out the window. I rest my head back and bite the inside of my cheek. "I want us to free fall, free fall And show me where you are So we can free fall, free fall"
I miss him terribly. His smile, his laugh, his gorgeous eyes. His humor, his dancing, just his way of being. I close my eyes momentarily, opening them in time to see the light turn green. I keep driving aimlessly.
"I don't want it here, I don't wanna stay here" Oh how right that is. Being with Lauren isnt what I want. Having to fake our relationship isnt what I want. Yes I love Eric and I guess I used to love Lauren, but I dont anymore. Not in the same way.
"The voices that echo around me" I stop at another red light, staring at all the people running around in the rain, trying to escape it. I wonder if they are as miserable as I feel right now. "they whisper what I fear" I swallow.
Youll never have him. Youll never be happy. He will find somebody else because you dont get your shit together. Youll spend all your life alone or miserable with somebody you dont really love.
"But the difference is I'm here" I make another turn as the light goes green. "I no longer recognize my face" I glance at myself in the rear-view mirror. My eyes look tired and have dark bags under them, my face is more sunken in from not taking care of myself, he always did. Im not happy.
The song keeps playing, and I keep driving. The rain keeps pouring harshly against the car, my thoughts never stray from him. "To hell with all of this" I grip tightly at the steering wheel. "To hell with me and to hell with not being able to do anything right when it comes to love" My knuckles turn white. I find myself in familiar territory. More memories course through my mind.
Stolen glances and guessing touches. We never confessed to eachother, or took it very far. But the love was there, and it was real.
Id never had anything so real before, so different, so exciting yet calming all at once. Every girlfriend ive ever had, there was always something off. Something fake about the so called love between us, it felt forced almost. Id never known it could be like that. Like it is with him.
I glance at my surroundings. Shit. Ofcourse id end up driving here.
"Take me back to the start" I speed up, driving well over the speed limit.
"I want us to free fall, free fall"
I near his house. Not sure what im doing, what am i even going to say? Am I just going to end up knocking on the door only to stand there like an idiot? The closer I get the more unsure I am whether I should speed past it or stop.
I slowly lift my foot, the speedometer steadily decreasing. The song still playing and the rain seemingly worse than ever.
I stop infront of his house, he locks his door and turns around. Our eyes lock.
"And show me where you are"
"Simon im-"
"David im-"
"Sorry"
He grins first, and after a moment of being starstruck, so do I. Perhaps I hadnt messed it up completely.
(woopwoop i havent written in months lmao, and this was half finished i just had to actually write the ending, so if it? seems different or smth thats why, its prolly not too great since im rusty)
