Simon pov
♪♫♬
A shaky sigh escapes my lips.
I open my eyes; Focusing back on the mirror infront of me, my hands reach up to fix my tie.
Grabbing the flowers I glance at the mirror one last time, and exit the room.
There goes my heart beating
I take my place, biting the inside of my cheek.
My body is wracked with nerves.
A cheer emits around me, shaking me out of my spiraling mind
I glance up.
'Cause you are the reason
I freeze.
Nothing could ever compare to such a sight.
His awe-striking grin.
Those gorgeous eyes as they settle on me.
He owns my heart.
His steps lead up to me.
I'm losing my sleep
Hes close enough to touch, and for a thoughtless/foolish/oblivious/senseless/mindless/unthinking moment
I reach out.
He walks past me.
Please come back now
I open my eyes.
My mind freezes yet replays again, never letting me get over it and never letting me move past.
I down another glass of vodka, all alone in an empty home; just trying to escape the awful burning in my heart; Some fruitless attempt at loosening the grip that has overtaken it.
There goes my mind racing
All the emotions and thoughts relive in my mind once again.
My throat closing up, my mind shutting down; barely able to register anything but the brokenness of my chest.
The splinters of my heart cutting up my lungs, making it hard to breathe.
"It shouldve been me"
"why wasnt it me"
"It should have been me"
"It isnt me.."
And you are the reason
Memories flash by; His laughter. That smile he had saved for me.
Soft touches and near confessions. Unsaid 'I love you's' in the late hours of the evening. Jokes and banter in the day times.
Simply us.
That I'm still breathing
"Hey Simon?"
"Yes?"
"No matter what happens right.."
I hum in reply.
"Dont let go, of me or yourself."
I look up at him curiously,
"why would I do that?"
"Just dont" he smiles softly.
"I mean who else would I go to if I need to annoy somebody" He continues with a mischevous grin, only to pull out a water gun; making a right mess of everything.
I hadnt understood why he said that; I mean we would always be us, right?
I'm hopeless now
And now, as im left here; sitting, gripping at my hair. Staring at a blank wall; I wish I never promised.
I never said it, but before I even asked why, I'd already decided.
And now, oh I wish so bad I hadnt. I know it would be selfish.
I cant handle this any much longer.
I'd climb every mountain
The invisible grip on my throat is relentless.
And swim every ocean
Teary eyed I stare unseeingly at the wall.
Forced to watch as my mind replays for the millionth time.
Just to be with you
His steps lead up to me.
I shakingly reach for my phone
Hes close enough to touch.
quick but unsure fingers dial up a familiar number.
and for a thoughtless/foolish/oblivious/senseless/mindless/unthinking moment
I press that wretched green button.
And fix what I've broken
I sit; unbreathing; unmoving.
The other side rings.
And rings.
And-
Oh, 'cause I need you to see
"Hello?"
My eyes widen.
it hurts.
Oh god it hurts.
That you are the reason
A muffled "who are you talking t-"
I hang up.
