A Night-Long Lament

the decision

(Your POV)

This coming week was going to be the most important week of your life. First of all, it was your birthday, and second of all, you were going to get married. Married? Married. Married! The thought of you with one of the princes made your heart flutter. But it also made you sad. This one choice had a big impact not only on yourself but the people who you care most about.

You squeeze the towel in your hands as the cold water drips onto your cold feet. Quickly, you get dressed for the day and head out to the dining room to find Hoseok and Yoongi. You wave at them, thoughts still crowding your head. 

"Y/N, did you hear about the wedding?" Yoongi calls to you as you start to pass him by. 

"Hm?" You look over to Yoongi and Hoseok, not hearing what he said. 

"The wedding. It's this Saturday," Hoseok says.

"What? So soon?" 

Hoseok shrugs. "We were supposed to have one a month ago." Yoongi nudges him in the ribs. "S-Sorry." he mumbles=

Taking a seat across from the two of them, you sigh. "Did you guys make sure Minhyuk made it home ok?" 

Yoongi shifts his seating position and scoffs. You could tell from his body language that he wasn't particularly fond of Minhyuk, but you couldn't blame him. You didn't like him either after all that conflict as well. 

Hoseok nods. "Mhm, we had someone follow him home through the settling storm. He made it home... If you count that as your house..." he trails off and looks off to the side. 

Worried about your father, you shake your leg anxiously. "I'm sorry about bringing him. I didn't realize he was so... abrasive."

Yoongi's gaze meets yours. "How did you ever date that guy? I could see right through him." 

"I don't know... He was nice and charming. I guess I just..." You remain silent when you realize what you're about to say.

I used him as a rebound. To get over him. 

Saying it in your head made it true. Your face blew up in embarrassment and you shoved your head into your hands. You didn't usually feel like way, sure the princes were kind and charming, but you were so caught up in your attacks that you just dismissed your thoughts for him. 

Yoongi was about to say something, but the others came in, interrupting him. 

"Morning!" They all say. Jin walks over to the head of the table and gestures for everyone to take a seat. 

"If you guys haven't heard already, the wedding will be this Saturday. We collectively decided for Y/N to make the decision who she wants to marry instead of one of the princes. This choice will be made in private and before the wedding." Jin's eyes stay on you the whole time. 

Your jaw drops. This decision, that could change your entire life would depend on you. Yourself. A drop of sweat leaves your neck. "Me?" You murmur.

~~~

As preparation for the wedding begins, you sit in a corner alone still contemplating your big decision. What would you do now? You were fond of each and every one of them... Taehyung and Jimin walk past you but halt. "Y/N? What are you doing? Shouldn't you be picking your dress..." Jimin trails off once Taehyung nudges him.

Jimin takes the signal and scurries away with a box in hand. "Hey... I know it was unfair of us to put this on you, but it only made sense. And we want you to know that whoever you choose, we'll be happy for you. We all made that promise." He smiles and rubs your shoulder encouragingly.

"Thank you." Was all you could get out. Taehyung was always selfless. It was an admirable trait. 

Taehyung gets up and pats your back. "I just want you to know that I wouldn't mind." Putting the pieces together, you somehow came to the conclusion that maybe he wanted to be with you. It made you flush red.

To say the least, you were out of it. As the evening continues, the altar and all the decorations were put up in preparation for tomorrow's big day and all you could do was lose your train of thought. 

In the heat of the moment, a terrible thought crosses your mind. 

If I didn't want to make the decision, why don't I just not?

As soon as the clock strikes 1:00 AM, you slip into dark clothing and sneak down the stairs with light feet. You knew this was bad, but was there any other way? You didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. 

You finally reach the entrance and gingerly creak open it.

"Don't tell me you're leaving again." Jin's sad voice comes from behind you. "After all we've been through? At least tell me why." He drops onto the stairs in defeat.

"I..." You begin, but you didn't know where to go, what to say. You stand in silence. "I can't do this." 

Jin stands up slowly and reaches out his hand towards you. "Please. Please don't leave again."

You catch the tear escaping your tear duct with your sleeve and gaze back at him. "I don't want to hurt anyone." You open the door wider and begin to step outside.

"You're hurting everyone more this way, Y/N. Please, just-just reconsider." 

"Thanks for accepting me into your household." You smile and swiftly leave.