Close As Strangers

Talk

"About what, Calum? About how you broke my heart? About how we were engaged and now it's ironic that we're seeing each other for the first time in months at an engagement party," I asked, sounding harsh. He stumbled over his words for a second before regaining confidence, "If that's what you want to talk about, then we will. I want to hear what you have to say, okay?" I rolled my eyes and the tears started falling down my cheeks. I slightly laughed and wiped them away, "I guess."
    He sighed a little, "Let's go sit down then, okay?" I just nodded my head and followed behind him. Sierra saw and gave me a sympathetic smile and Luke gave a thumbs up.

    My heart was racing, my hands were sweaty and shaking, and I was nauseous. I'd never been this nervous for anything that I can remember. He led me to a back booth and sat down. I sat in front of him and put my head down. I couldn't believe this was happening and I almost didn't want to be a part of it. I looked around and it felt like everyone was staring at us. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to go home, but most of all, I wanted him to explain everything to me and make him listen to what I had to say. "How have you been," he asked, starting off the conversation.
    "I can count a few times I would've rather been dead, but okay, I guess. You?"
    "Oh, well, it's been alright. A long time, huh?"
I just looked up at him, "Yeah, it's been awhile," I said. He sighed and looked around.
    "Cal, I don't want to be rude, but I feel like I deserve an explanation for why you did what you did," I said, getting his attention. He looked at me and cleared his throat,
    "Oh yeah, I understand," he said. "To be completely honest, I don't know why I did what I did. Maybe it was the distance and being away for so long. Maybe it was because you got really clingy when I was home," he trailed off.
    "Bullshit," I snapped, "you built this up over months. I know you did. I thought it came out of the blue at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn't. You started getting mean, and short, and just awful to over the period of like four months. I was clingy when you were home because I've always hated being away from you and it always hurt so much when you'd leave. So don't tell me it was the distance because it started before that. You cheated, I know that because my brother isn't going to keep that from me. You don't understand how much that hurt me, Calum. I wanted die when you broke up with me. We've been engaged for years, yet you wanted to throw that away for some airhead model you saw once in Italy. You broke me. You broke my trust and my heart and soul. You ruined me. I tried to not let it get to me, but I quit work because I couldn't even get out of bed to do the most important thing to me. Luke's been paying my bills because I have no money." I realized I was crying and shaking. My face was red and hot and Calum looked guilty, so I continued. "I wanted to build a family with you. You wrote so many songs for me and you always told me you loved me. I knew something was wrong when you stopped saying it as often. You acted as if loving me was a chore. I did everything I could to keep you happy, but it obviously wasn't enough. I ruined myself trying to get over you, Calum, but you don't just stop loving someone after six years," I scoffed. "It's ironic that the first time we've talked in forever is at an engagement party," I laughed, wiping my tears.
    "I don't even know where to start with that," he said. I rolled my eyes and just looked at him.